Revelation

I realised that boys aren't the only ones who have difficulties with temptations. Girls have temptations too. And it's difficult to resist too.

Oh boy, who knew it could be this way??

Crunch time

Ok, it is just slightly less than 2 weeks till the submission of GP. I am officially gg full speed ahead right till the end. Thing is, I can finally set my mind to just my work.

Tt is because I have found a job!!! Woohoo!!! With tt load off my mind, I can fully concentrate on the things that are important. I know my priorities are a bit screwed... It should have been school work above everything else, but I admit that it was not. hehe!! Now that I can see where I am headed after graduation, it is easier for me to let my mind settle and concentrate on the things that matter. =)

Now, I can just smile and look ahead.

It's a Friday!!

Dear mama is coming home with McNuggets for me! Hehe!! Macs for lunch is something I have not had in a long long time!!

Anyway, I cannot believe that exactly 1 month from now, everything will be over. I am graduating soon. =)

First Draft

I think it will end today. Not the final lah. Got some parts I am still thinking over so I think I need to indicate to Cat tt I am still putting thought into it and tt while she is reading through, I will be adding on things at the same time.

I should be able to send out to her by this evening. Cross my fingers.

Doing work

My motivation to work is back!! Yep, typing report and doing all the things that should have been done like 2 weeks ago. But I have to admit that having a baby at home is so distracting!!! On one hand, I get things done better when I do them at home but on the other hand, the baby calls out to me every couple of hours. Haiz...

I am gg to miss Gordon (BABY G) when he goes back to Hong Kong.

I get this feeling of warmth when I feed him his milk and he drinks it properly. I also feel very happy when he falls asleep in my arms. But no lah, I am not craving to be a mother yet. Coz I gratefully give the "middle of the night" duty up to my mother and in the mornings I don't wake up early to take care of him. I still like being a "part-time" nanny only.

Ok, since he is having his nap now, better quickly do report. Later, bringing him out to Changi Airport!!!

Stag Night and Hen Parties

Last Sunday, there was an article in the newspaper about a female writer planning her own hen party while fretting over her husband-to-be's stag night. She was planning lots of booze and among other details, male dancers in policemen uniforms. Then she heard that her fiance was gg on a boys-only trip to Cambodia. She was thinking it would be a life-changing experience which might mean her man coming back as a better man.

She was all for it.

Then she heard from a "worldly" colleague that oh, the girls in Cambodia are 10 times cheaper than hiring girls in Singapore. Imagine, for the amount you spend on hiring 6 girls for a stag night in Singapore, you can have 60 Cambodian girls. Yes, tt was preceisely the figure that they talked about.

So, do I intend to have a hen party when I am gg to get married? I don't think so.

Someone told me that it is tradition. To have a stag night? Talk to my ass. A tradition to get involved in teenage shenanigans and celebrating the one last night of bachelorhood? Firstly, why is there a need to "make full use" of that one last night before committing to that one person? If you want to, you can make every night a stag night if you remain single. I believe it is just a sign that one is not ready to commit. If engaging in frivolous activity is a tradition before getting married, I seriously wonder what that says about a future with that person.

Like I said, if my fiance believes that he has to have a stag night if not he is just half the man he is supposed to be, go ahead. But he will not touch me until he is tested for STDs. Or any other types of diseases. Tt's what I said.

But after thinking further, I think no. I will not have him at all.

When asked if I will have a hen party, I truthfully answered no coz I pictured myself preparing myself to look beautiful on that one special day of my life. I want to look good for that one special day which marks the beginning of my life with the man that I love. But since that same man might be more inclined to be eagerly planning how to leave bachelorhood behind with a big bang then I would like to pat his hand and say don't leave it behind. Since you aren't ready then continue on. If he needs to "make full use" of that one last night before committing himself to me then I would like to say don't make that sacrifice.

I finally see that I don't have to compromise on things that I truly believe in. So I don't expect my fiance (whoever that may turn out to be) to have to compromise too if a stag night is important to him. Don't make leaving bachelorhood behind for a life with me a chore. I wouldn't want to stick to a man that thinks that way too anyway.

Not what I want

Last night's dinner with Diane was fun and really, COMFORTING. Maybe she is really one of my strongest pillars in life. I miss her when I don't see her around and I feel alright when we sms or talk on the phone but it's only when we meet up that the realisation as to how much I have missed her hits me. WHAM!!

Anyway, the quiet talk we had kept our jaws busy. This time round, there were more things to update each other about so I think when we said bye at the bus-stop, our burgers were already digested and the Milo was sustaining us for the journey home.

Anyway, like I told her, I might end up doing something for the sake of something else. 4 years ago, when I walked away from another relationship, it was because I didn't want to have to get married immediately after I graduate just because he was older than me and his bio clock was ticking. To me, getting married for a different agenda has never been what I wanted. But now, almost the same thing might happen.

To marry someone for the sake of buying a house is an even sadder excuse. To marry someone just so that the 5 years that we will be bonded to the HDB flat can pass earlier is the worst excuse I have ever heard. And he claims that since now I already know that this is what he plans and even if he proposes to me with a totally different agenda, I won't be convinced.

I never thought my life would turn out like this. It used to be because someone wanted to start a family for me but I panicked and left. Now it's because of a property. Pratical, I know. But unavoidable?

Right beneath "Getting married to get citizenship", "Getting married to acquire property so that bond pass faster" has got to be the all-time number 2. Sadly, no matter how I like to believe that I am prepared for anything to hit me, this never crossed my mind until it was right in my face.

About VDay

Right, so about VDay... We managed to get really fresh sashimi from Fassler's Wholesale Fish Market in the morning with my folks before we were supposed to celebrate VDay together. But he had a fever soom after lunch and so VDay plans had to be scraped. We were planning a picnic right??

Well, he had actually decided to pitch a tent in one of the rooms in his house and set it up to look like we were in the forest. Hahaha!! It was really amusing coz I made him spill the beans about the plans and he shared with me how he and his mum were trying to pitch the tent but found out later tt it can't be pitched properly coz it was supposed to be stuck down to the ground. And he picked out ambient music so tt it would sound like we were in the forest. Hahaha!!

No wonder he said it'll be cool, no mosquitoes and got fire also. =)

He also practised playing the guitar and sang a song for me which was really touching and well, I didn't know he could play the guitar you see. And he bought me a ring as my VDay present. A single solitaire.

His fever has not subsided yet coz it's viral fever. He has MC until today. But he seems better now. I hope he really gets well soon. =)

Rushing and Rushing

It is almost recess week now. I have my first quiz for this sem next week and an individual assignment as well as my first draft for FYP to do during the recess break. Everyone is rushing and rushing to complete this and complete that. But amid the chaos, my mates and I have been able to take a CNY break happily and to celebrate dear Crystal's birthday. I think this was the first time we stepped out tgt, just the 4 of us, for a celebration like tt. Really cosy and bloated tummies at the end of the evening.

And although we have quite a bit on our hands, we are taking a breather to plan for our Valentine's Day weekend. I sort of already gave Adam his gift coz it was a watch and I wasn't too sure if it was too big, or too clunky, etc. The guy advised me to bring it back the next day if I want to have it changed so I had to give it to him on the day that I purchased it. I am glad he liked it. He asked me, "What made you think that I wouldn't like it?" Now I wish I had waited till tml to give it to him, like more meaningful right?

But anyway, tml's kind of a family day for the earlier part of the day. We are planning a trip to Fassler Wholesale Fish Market in the morning and then a sashimi lunch with my folks. He even said that we could play mahjong with them in the afternoon. The VDay programme is only supposed to commence in the evening. It's a picnin so I am preparing the food while he picks the location. He knows what I will prepare but I don't know where we are going.

Hints that he has dropped so far:
(1) Bring a light jacket, may become cold
(2) Open area, outdoors, in the east
(3) Don't think will have mosquitoes
(4) He offered to set up a fire to warm the food up if needed, so he can make fire at the place

I am still trying to figure out where is this place. Meanwhile, back to studying for the quiz. I have 1 more lecture to go through. =)

Jobs Dilemma

I feel that I might not want the first job that comes my way. But there is that uncertainty that the better jobs after that won't come my way. Some say I should take up whatever comes first and give it a try. But then again, I feel that I want to wait. It is very frustrating, this whole uncertainty thing.

I don't want to think I will end up like a certain somebody, waiting unrealistically for a better offer to come. I mean, I do recognise that times are bad. I should be thankful for employment. But then again, I have this inner confidence that believe that I will get something better. Is that being unrealistic?

For now, it is just a waiting game. I guess I will have to see how it develops.