Ami, I hope you see this. A bit hard to tell you face to face. So there.
I'm sorry I made you give up asking me what my life is like. Aya told me everything and well, I'm not making excuses for myself. I was selfish in wanting to maintain my own lifestyle which I felt you 2 cannot accept so I hid and I lied. And after a while, you gave up coz my answers were always inconsistent.
I know everything now. And I'm sorry.
Friday, March 07, 2008
Thursday, March 06, 2008
わがまま
偶にはわがままさせて欲しいのに、わがまま言えないのって、嫌な気がする。誤解されるのが嫌だから。私はけして弱い人ではないから。でも弱気にきずいて欲しい時もあるのよね。
正直になれない私は、ずっと一人で我慢するしかないのかな～
もっと素直になれる方法はあるのかな～
私の本当の気持ちを知ったら、どんな反応するのが解らないからこそ不安なのかも。本当の私にきずいたら嫌われるのが怖いのかも。そんなにあの人を失うのが怖いのかな。こんな自信がない自分が嫌いです。誰だってそうと思う。
あいつも、もっと私の気持ちに自分で解って欲しいよね。もうちょっと努力して欲しい。如何して敏感じゃないの！！！
腹立つぐらい怒れる…
もうちょっと優しい彼氏になれ！！！ 馬鹿！！
正直になれない私は、ずっと一人で我慢するしかないのかな～
もっと素直になれる方法はあるのかな～
私の本当の気持ちを知ったら、どんな反応するのが解らないからこそ不安なのかも。本当の私にきずいたら嫌われるのが怖いのかも。そんなにあの人を失うのが怖いのかな。こんな自信がない自分が嫌いです。誰だってそうと思う。
あいつも、もっと私の気持ちに自分で解って欲しいよね。もうちょっと努力して欲しい。如何して敏感じゃないの！！！
腹立つぐらい怒れる…
もうちょっと優しい彼氏になれ！！！ 馬鹿！！
Wednesday, March 05, 2008
Burnt finger
I had steamboat with Ai ren just now and it was SHIOK!!! The portion is just nice for 2 girls and well, the weather today was ideal for steamboat. The piping hot soup was so good~~
After tt, Ai ren and I shared the dessert from Summer Frost. The name very cool hor? In Chinese, it sounds even more romantic. And the ice was shaved so thinnly tt, when it was in my mouth, it just melted and it was almost creamy in texture!!! HEAVEN!!! Today we tried the Champagne Grape ice with the peach topping. Very nice...
Oh, but the real story is I BURNT MY FUCKING INDEX FINGER!!!
Was trying to be a hero and remove the pot from the fire coz the precious soup was evaporating and we didn't need to cook anything anymore. And I had seen how Sammy effortlessly removed the pot from the fire earlier so I firmly believed that the handles weren't hot u see...
Well, The handle facing me wasn't hot so I reached to the other side to grab the other handle and that was when I FUCKING BURNT MYSELF!!! In a bit not to waste the precious soup, I had to bear with the pain and the heat and slowly let the pot down...
MY GOODNESS...
Now there's a super ugly looking bubble on the pad of my index finger. Right hand. I haven't tested to see if I can still write but typing is not a probelm (as u can see) coz my nails are long enough - I just tap away on the keyboard using my nails instead. =)
After tt, Ai ren and I shared the dessert from Summer Frost. The name very cool hor? In Chinese, it sounds even more romantic. And the ice was shaved so thinnly tt, when it was in my mouth, it just melted and it was almost creamy in texture!!! HEAVEN!!! Today we tried the Champagne Grape ice with the peach topping. Very nice...
Oh, but the real story is I BURNT MY FUCKING INDEX FINGER!!!
Was trying to be a hero and remove the pot from the fire coz the precious soup was evaporating and we didn't need to cook anything anymore. And I had seen how Sammy effortlessly removed the pot from the fire earlier so I firmly believed that the handles weren't hot u see...
Well, The handle facing me wasn't hot so I reached to the other side to grab the other handle and that was when I FUCKING BURNT MYSELF!!! In a bit not to waste the precious soup, I had to bear with the pain and the heat and slowly let the pot down...
MY GOODNESS...
Now there's a super ugly looking bubble on the pad of my index finger. Right hand. I haven't tested to see if I can still write but typing is not a probelm (as u can see) coz my nails are long enough - I just tap away on the keyboard using my nails instead. =)
Inertia
I am not working very efficiently past 2 days after school reopened... Totally slacking and not accomplishing what I am supposed to be doing... Argh!!! The only thing I am dutifully doing is being a full-time nua-kia...
It's the holiday inertia lah. Cannot break out from it. And I think it's time we had a small outing too. After Limei went to China, no one really organising anything. Maybe coz tt girl always know of good places to eat and all the lobangs. Girls, if you see this, please go check facebook... Is it supposed to be a girls-only thing? And anyway, yah, ur replies are greatly appreciated.
Oh, just now I decided to take a break from nua-ing and went to run. At 8.30 in the morning. I am such a genius. Now at least I feel a bit more awake. =)
It's the holiday inertia lah. Cannot break out from it. And I think it's time we had a small outing too. After Limei went to China, no one really organising anything. Maybe coz tt girl always know of good places to eat and all the lobangs. Girls, if you see this, please go check facebook... Is it supposed to be a girls-only thing? And anyway, yah, ur replies are greatly appreciated.
Oh, just now I decided to take a break from nua-ing and went to run. At 8.30 in the morning. I am such a genius. Now at least I feel a bit more awake. =)
Saturday, March 01, 2008
Bright sunshine
I have found my pocket full of sunshine. Life is good again. Not the best, but still good...
And my pocket full of sunshine comes in the form of something that resembles a cat. Hahaha!!! Think of it only also feel like laughing... I really think I have something that I will never want to let go... I love my pocket full of sunshine. A big pocket too, to keep that much sunshine...
May this be one good thing that doesn't end. I don't want it to, I am doing my best to keep it, and I hope my pocket full of sunshine feels the same too. =)
And my pocket full of sunshine comes in the form of something that resembles a cat. Hahaha!!! Think of it only also feel like laughing... I really think I have something that I will never want to let go... I love my pocket full of sunshine. A big pocket too, to keep that much sunshine...
May this be one good thing that doesn't end. I don't want it to, I am doing my best to keep it, and I hope my pocket full of sunshine feels the same too. =)
Thursday, February 28, 2008
Pocket full of sunshine
[Interlude]
I got a pocket,got a pocket full of sunshine
I got a love that knows that it's all mine
oh.oh,oh
Do what you want,but you never gonna break me,
sticks and stone are never gonna shake me
oh,oh,oh
[Chorus]
Take me away (take me away)
A secret place (a secret place)
A sweet escape (a sweet escape)
Take me away (take me away)
Take me away (take me away)
To better days (to better days)
Take me away (take me away)
A hiding place (a hiding place)
[Interlude]
I got pocket,Got a pocket full of sunshine
I got a love that knows that it's all mine
oh,oh,oh
Wish that you could,but you ain't gonna own me
do anything you can to control me
oh,oh,oh
[Chorus]
[Hook]
There's a place that I go
That nobody knows
Where the rivers flow
And I call it home
And there's no more lies
And darkness is light
And nobody cries
there's only butterflies
[Chorus 2x]
[Chorus & Interlude]
The sun's on my side
Take me for a ride
I smile up to the sky
I know I'll be alright
The sun's on my side
Take me for a ride
I smile up to the sky
I know I'll be alright
I got a pocket,got a pocket full of sunshine
I got a love that knows that it's all mine
oh.oh,oh
Do what you want,but you never gonna break me,
sticks and stone are never gonna shake me
oh,oh,oh
[Chorus]
Take me away (take me away)
A secret place (a secret place)
A sweet escape (a sweet escape)
Take me away (take me away)
Take me away (take me away)
To better days (to better days)
Take me away (take me away)
A hiding place (a hiding place)
[Interlude]
I got pocket,Got a pocket full of sunshine
I got a love that knows that it's all mine
oh,oh,oh
Wish that you could,but you ain't gonna own me
do anything you can to control me
oh,oh,oh
[Chorus]
[Hook]
There's a place that I go
That nobody knows
Where the rivers flow
And I call it home
And there's no more lies
And darkness is light
And nobody cries
there's only butterflies
[Chorus 2x]
[Chorus & Interlude]
The sun's on my side
Take me for a ride
I smile up to the sky
I know I'll be alright
The sun's on my side
Take me for a ride
I smile up to the sky
I know I'll be alright
Friday, February 22, 2008
Success and Happiness
Today we pitched our project idea to Catherine and well, we were just bouncing some ideas around. It centres around life satisfaction, or happiness, and the different factors that might contribute to it. Attaining success is one of them but what is the definition of it?
In the end, she cautioned us,
"Don't confuse Success with Happiness."
Sounds simple enough? But her words kept resonating in my mind and I just couldn't shake it out of my head. What exactly is success and with success, will happiness definitely follow?? Why do some live in poverty but stay happy while others who have no financial worries are constantly battling discontentment??
What is success to me?? And what will give me happiness?? Am I satisfied with life now?? What about in the future?? If I am working to ensure happiness in the future, that must mean that I am not happy now right? I am discontented with what I have that is why I am "working" to ensure future happiness...
Puzzling and almost cyclical train of thought that just won't go away... Causing my eyes to feel hot and dry and irritated... Could be the contact lenses though...
Uncertainty isn't fun at all and haha, the articles that we read and try to understand are just making me more confused about the human mind... Maybe should quit school and become a full-time nanny like Izyan suggested.
In the end, she cautioned us,
"Don't confuse Success with Happiness."
Sounds simple enough? But her words kept resonating in my mind and I just couldn't shake it out of my head. What exactly is success and with success, will happiness definitely follow?? Why do some live in poverty but stay happy while others who have no financial worries are constantly battling discontentment??
What is success to me?? And what will give me happiness?? Am I satisfied with life now?? What about in the future?? If I am working to ensure happiness in the future, that must mean that I am not happy now right? I am discontented with what I have that is why I am "working" to ensure future happiness...
Puzzling and almost cyclical train of thought that just won't go away... Causing my eyes to feel hot and dry and irritated... Could be the contact lenses though...
Uncertainty isn't fun at all and haha, the articles that we read and try to understand are just making me more confused about the human mind... Maybe should quit school and become a full-time nanny like Izyan suggested.
Wednesday, February 20, 2008
Seven Basic Steps to Maintaining a Good Relationship
Found this on some counselling website and I just thought of sharing.
1. Be aware of what you and your partner want for yourselves and what you want from the relationship.
2. Let one another know what your needs are.
3. Realize that your partner will not be able to meet all of your needs. Some of these needs will have to be met outside the relationship.
4. Be willing to negotiate and compromise on the things you want from one another.
5. Do not demand that a partner change to meet all your expectations. Work to accept the differences that you see between your ideal and the reality.
6. Try to see things from the other's point of view. This doesn't mean that you must agree with one another, but rather that you can expect yourself and your partner to understand and respect your differences, your points of view and your separate needs.
7. Where critical differences exist in your expectations, needs, opinions or views, try to negotiate.
All sounds very common sense but how often have we lost track of it ourselves? Going to let these rules guide me. =)
1. Be aware of what you and your partner want for yourselves and what you want from the relationship.
2. Let one another know what your needs are.
3. Realize that your partner will not be able to meet all of your needs. Some of these needs will have to be met outside the relationship.
4. Be willing to negotiate and compromise on the things you want from one another.
5. Do not demand that a partner change to meet all your expectations. Work to accept the differences that you see between your ideal and the reality.
6. Try to see things from the other's point of view. This doesn't mean that you must agree with one another, but rather that you can expect yourself and your partner to understand and respect your differences, your points of view and your separate needs.
7. Where critical differences exist in your expectations, needs, opinions or views, try to negotiate.
All sounds very common sense but how often have we lost track of it ourselves? Going to let these rules guide me. =)
No photos
Well, I thought we have never taken a picture together, until I remembered I have seen him in a bathrobe and I know because he was wearing a bathrobe, I wanted to take picture with him. Well, I was pretty high then, and then I recalled when was that. It was at Hall Ball a couple of years back. Not too long ago, if we thought about it.
I always felt that he was only like, maybe 2cm taller than me. But in this picture can see he quite a bit taller than me lah... haha!! Revelation. Well, as can tell, I was already super high at that time... Ai ren and my faces both very red.
I think his hair a bit too long here, look every bit an Ah Beng.
Well, it's about a year and half later now and look at where we are...
Monday, February 18, 2008
Dreamy
Body still feels like it is in dream land and my brain is not warmed up for any work... Still in the weekend mood...
Let's do an inverntory take on Vday... 2 roses, 2 love notes (i received a 2nd one from wenqi), a pig paperclip, an angel paperclip and the biggest gift of all - A NEW ADIDAS GYM BAG. Yah, it's that colour that you see it here...
Supposed to motivate me to go to the gym more but I am just fascinated by how deceivingly small it is lah! Can put so many things... Unlike the Crumpler, look like can put a lot of things but actually not many things... The gym bag is so.... SWEE!!!
Watched JUMPER on Saturday... Awesome show, totally felt like becoming a Jumper too!!! I was like pseudo-laughing at the guys when they were gushing about how they wanted to be Jumpers too, but inside me, I was also thinking how nice if I was a Jumper too!!!
Hayden Christensen is HOT. And I have to agree with Izyan that the last line was a killer. Totally sealed his IDEAL BOYFRIEND status.
"So, where do you want to go?" -Jump-
Yes, please... Breakfast in Paris, shopping in Milan, lunch on xiao long baos in Shanghai, massage in India, afternoon tea in London watch sunset in the Carribbean before having dinner and then back home. Wah!!
Ok, back to reality. Really, watch it girls. I had to hold a bowl beneath my chin coz I was drooling so much... Woohoo!!
Next movies in line that I want to watch:
(1) 27 dresses
(2) Ah Long Pte Ltd
Guess what? Adam and I have not watched a movie tgt before. As in just us. Both times we watched movies, were with a gang of people. But I have to admit that it is fun hanging out with them. =)
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