Zen

Today, before entering Nanyang Audi for our Cultural Psych paper, we walked to the toilet at the other end coz all the toilets were packed with ppl rushing to pee. The school was serene and the birds were chirping... We went into zen-mode too because of tt...

No matter what happens and what we do, the birds will always be chirping, the wind will continue to blow and the trees will be green. Life goes on. Ha.

Exams are coming

Technically, I only have 4 more days until my first paper. The amazing part? I am not anxious yet. Not even anxious THAT I am not anxious and that I have no mood to study at all. Haha! This is fucking deep shit!! But then, my mantra is, LIFE IS GOOD, so nothing should devastate me too much.

Just a bit sad that I have been swamped with project deadlines this past 2 weeks. BUt today is the last time I will be meeting the girls for project meeting for this semester. Just to tie up the loose ends and have the presentation slides done up. No matter how we may have our small differences and arguements, we really have good group dynamics. There is a kind of homeostasis within the group and everyone has a specific role to fulfill so really, work is really efficient. Come on, we can complete a project in A DAY if we set our minds to it. We've done it before, but I am sure we are not getting complacent. =)

Will be mugging at home from tml onwards, bye bye to hall. Will get to see Aya and Ami more. Just hope we don't kill each other with the overdose of seeing one another. hehe! Will be good to move home after staying in hall for 3 years. The 3 years were really good fun but now tt final year is coming and most of the RAINBOW SISTERS are not in hall anymore, it's kinda lonely I think. Just hope I survive this semester's exams too!!

we have become

so stubborn and strong that we have forgotten that we are made of flesh and bone too. We have forgotten that it is alright to ask for help and allow others to see that we are weak.

Learn to open your mouth and ask for help when you really need it. No point keeping your mouth shut and hiding everything, thinking that you are shielding us from it. If you do, you are no different from him.

in the junlge of cities

After today, I can concentrate on "paperwork"... Yes, all the work that needs to be done and printed on paper.. hehe!!!

We will finish French presentation and the CDP101 Final Performance today. After tt, we can say goodbye to all the abstract and the intangible assignments and concentrate on the black and white.

Nervous, and this fluttering in my stomach... Doesn't quite feel like butterflies or nerves... More like... HUNGRY!! Oh my, the bread in the morning wasn't enough!!! Should grab something to eat later... Alright, got to go... Painting my face also later... Haiz... Muackz!!!

April's Fool Day

And so I played pranks on Crystal, Diane and Adam...

I think poor Crystal was the one that really kena hammed and really worried about us. =) Izyan and I had lied that we were not gg to do FYP together coz we had a fight... And we were basically asking Crystal to choose the side that she wanted to be on... When I saw the worried look on her face, well, I felt a tinge of guilt... So I shifted my concentration to my lor-mai-kai (which izyan had queued to buy for me in the morning) so that I won't laugh or do anything silly...

Could really see the relief on Crystal's face when we told her that it was just a prank... hahaha!!

Well, Di's and Adam's were a bit more complicated... Basically the same story, that I was gg back to Japan to finish my studies there. Bestie fell for it and was flustering about in her sms-es and asking me so many questions. I LOVE YOU BESTIE!!! Told my ma about the prank and she actually chided me for doing tt to u!! =) You have been officially adopted.

Adam said he woke up in the morning all prepared for April's Fool Day so he didn't fall for it... A bit sad tt the prank fell flat but wells, dinner was on him. Had this Irish Stew with lamb and vegetables and it was ADDICTIVE!

I was telling Adam tt I might start developing a crave for it. It was so nice lah!! The lamb was tender and no funky smell to it. The broth was FANTABULOUS!! It was served simply with a breadroll. I tell you, I will miss it on rainy days when the raindrops are falling outside the window and the TV is showing CSI... I will want to just curl up on the sofa, all showered and clean in my PJs, with a bowl of tt Irish Stew and some breadrolls... Heaven!!

Oh, but before we had dinner, Adam pranked me... A small teeny one. We parked in front of some private houses and there was this darkened house.

Adam: "We are gg to eat at this fellow's house... No. 70... Eh, no... No. 68."
Me : "Seriously? Are you sure?"
(All I could see was a darkened house...)
Adam: "Yah. See the stone lions on the pillars there? It means it's a restaurant."
Me : "ARE YOU SURE?! But I think they are closed... *spots something*... Wait! It says here *something* Junior Playhouse!!"
Adam: "wahahahahahahahaha!!!"

And tt was when I realised, he is always pulling small pranks on me, each time we meet... Haha!! And making me laugh at his antics, his weird idea for the prank or at my own stupidity when he really gets me. And I knew then tt, I will probably feel very sad the day he stops doing tt to me. =) I hope I always remain his number one target for tickles and jokes.

P.S: Harmless jokes fine. Not those make-me-sia-suay kind... haha!

MindCafe

We went to MindCafe last night!!! It was really fun, crash course on several games... Had dinner there too. Actually, not much of a dinner. WC said he wasn't tt hungry so shared the Crispy Chicken Platter with him. The bill came up to $10 so I passed him a $5 note. Then he gave me a dollar back.

Me: "Why are you giving me a dollar? Share half-half right?"
WC: "No, it's ok. I will eat more than you."

Yah right... just a dollar more? He damn funny lah... And the whole time we were sharing, he was telling me to eat faster if not got no more for me. Wahahaha!!!

After everyone was satiated with their meals, the games started!! We played Balderdash first. Coz it was very Americanised and we didn't know the answers to all the categories, we decided to alternate between the intials/acronyms and the laws one...

E.g. "P.L.O.W" and "In Mexico, it is illegal for a man to climb..."
We came up with all sort of funny shit and I tell you, Adam, ever the cockster, came up with some of the more irritatingly-obvious-that-is-wrong kind of answers... But he wasn't very good at the game though. He was left behind while we all moved on ahead on the board...

We played Jurassic Jumble too. Like Heart Attack but we had to collect all 9 bones of the dinosaur and then grab the bones on the table. It was damn funny lah. Adam missed twice and he had to eat a packet of chili sauce each time. After tt, he was a bit more kanchiong. Too kanchiong. I almost couldn't grab a bone thanks to his fat body totally blocking the table lah! =)

The Snorta, was a bit more low-key. Didn't find it interesting after we had just played Jurassic Jumble. But Strategy was good!!

It got all of us really discussing and planning our moves as to how to build up our own winning formation while blocking other people from getting their formation. The last round was good. Yiling and I trashed Adam and Felix. They thought they were definitely gg to win but we were a turn ahead so WE WON!!! Wahahaha!!! Really savoured the look of defeat on their faces...

It was about 12 each just for the games, dinner excluded. But it was a fun-filled duration of 2 hours. Enjoyed every single minute of it. =)

Being loved

gives you the upper hand coz personally, no emotional attachment thus less concern and less affected. So the mounting insecurities are probabaly nothing but a passing phase. Plus, I love myself more than anything in the world. I have already reached the highest level attainable for self-preservation I think.

Anyway, have decided to shut down this particular portal to a particular aspect of my life coz the drama occurring there is too much for me to keep up with. Oh, please don't ask me what is it, coz I might just bite. Calling everyday to ask for updates is a heart-stopping activity and even then, sometimes knowing doesn't make me feel any better. Plus, although the parties concerned have already adopted a jaded and "let's-laugh-it-off" approach to this matter at hand, I find that I can hardly keep up this facade. Super tiring to put on the "everything-in-the-world-is-nice-and-rosy" smile on the face. I am not suffering inside lah, just super sick of it.

Doesn't help that at the moment, nothing concrete about the outcome can be anticipated. Doesn't help of course, that we are all scrambling to make allowances and compromises, indefinitely. How long more do you need or are you just testing our patience?? Seriously, I think I have already stopped trying to be patient. I am just waiting for time to pass and hoping that you can clear it up yourself. May you be enlightened soon.

This week has been a busy week starting from the weekend. So, yes, work has kept my mind off from the unnecessary drama. Seriously feel indebted to Diane for putting up with all my nonsense. Thank you, I hope you are reading this. I don't know when I can return you the favour, but be patient with me please. My bestie can tahan a lot of nonsensical ramblings and favours from me, I know, I am blessesd.

I know I am being loved, and I don't want to have the upper hand actually. I am loving, every single one of the people that matters to me, back.

I don't think he knows

that it takes a lot of effort to be aloof. To be detached and cool about many things. Or has my being chill about things led to more of such shit?

Anyway, he's back in one piece so I guess tt's good. Not tt he went to a dangerous place. Guess what he got for me? A Dou-mo kun soft toy. Yes, a soft toy all the way from Taiwan. And that is after I had just told him I think soft toys are cute but a waste of space. I just told him before he left. I still rem the incident, coz we had seen a giant Hello Kitty soft toy in Plaza Singapura and I had commented it was cute but a total waste of space. And he still bought a soft toy for me. From Taiwan. Yay.

I have to say that, it took a lot of effort to say thank you. I couldn't meet him in the eye lah. And he was still saying, "Couldn't find Ham-taro so bought this..." Seriously, at that moment, I felt like I was falling into a well lah... Can feel my heart sinking. Was he not listening?? Or, was it a token gift for the gf tt was waiting at home...

I know, the stereotypical thinking is that all girls like cute cuddly soft toys... So, just buy a soft toy to placate her... Seriously, even now, I feel disappointed lah. And it isn't even nice to hug. It's shaped like a dice, and quite thick so it's really quite a chore to hug it to my chest... Can suffocate myself with it lah.

I feel so "ARGH!" and it didn't help tt it was obvious he enjoyed himself there lah. Just saw the photos online. Fucking pissed off right now.

Time seems so slow

when I am waiting for something. Not exactly, waiting but still, yah...

I managed to somehow finish the slides for the presentation and make it one of my most comprehensive piece of work. I still have Clare's report to do but well, my mind is a bit preoccupied at the moment.

It's so strange how I can miss him although it's been only 2 days and well, he's already coming back tml. I mean, we've not met for tt long too before but the fact that he is not as easily contactable just makes me feel more intensely i guess.

But time away from him gave me room to do my own things also. Things that I would have definitely been distracted away from if he was around. Still at the stage of motivation where I am easily led away... But well, my priorities are firming up and I know I can stick to it.

The True Me (according to blogthings.com)

The True You

You want your girlfriend or boyfriend to do more for you. With respect to money, you spend as little as possible. You think good luck will definitely be yours, someday. The hidden side of your personality tends to be satisfied to care for things with a minimal amount of effort. You are tend to think about others' feelings a lot, perhaps because you are so eager to be liked. When it comes to finding a romantic partner, you base your search on information from your friends.

Who's" The True You?