I have been haunted by him... I just can't seem to put him away under lock and key... I am so afraid to open my drawer to see the box tt holds our photoes... So afraid to look into my jewellery box and see the ring tt he bought and the necklace he gave me for my 18th birthday... I sometimes wonder how I managed to make myself break up with him and how coolly I managed to pass the days after tt...
I had various activities to keep me busy, and saw him as a burden even... But now tt things have settled and I had time to think, carefully and clearly, the delay for the pain seems to have magnified it even more... I can't believe he is no longer beside me...
How is he now, and what is life like for him...?
Life hasn't been easy without you... I was probably the most pampered gf on planet earth then... You always knew what to do and you always knew how to make me feel better... It hasn't been easy, trying not to think of you as I try to cram psychology theories into my brain...
I didn't treat u well, did i? How I wish u could be here now, to see and feel the change in me... Coz losing u really made me crazy... I really want u back, to let u see, just how much I have changed... I really want to see u again...
But how can we? When u have moved on, so far ahead... Nobody wants to know that they are in the wrong, but I see for it myself, abide the late timing... I just wish that u could have remembered me as I am now, not tt selfish girl that passed on u...
I tried putting on our ring yesterday... For so long, it was a part of me... And it felt so nice to have it on again... I really miss u...
I miss u, do u know tt? It is so hard to talk about u... Everytime someone mentions ur name, my eyes tear... Everytime i try to say ur name, my voice cracks... I don't want to cry coz u are probably happily leading ur life and I want to celebrate tt for u too... But I just can't get over tt I am not a fixture in the new life of urs...
I wish u could just see how much I still love u.
