DS Lite

Adam has bought a new White DS Lite... And I am getting hooked on it. Hahaha.

I was the one that keptasking him to "think carefully" but now I am the one tt has claimed ownership over it. He's nice tt way, he just laughed at me, but didn't say " I told you so" or anything like tt. I think he likes me. *blush*

But I am playing all the crappy-fun games like Cooking Mama. =) Learning new recipes... So fun lah! I have never chopped spring onions so fast before lah!!! As promised, I am not playing it at work. Who in the right mind will play DS Lite at work??

I hope the day ends soon then I can play on the train!

I am dying

I think I am dying.

My flu has been here for 2 weeks already and no signs of improvement. Like I told Di yesterday, my head is so full of mucus and phlegm that I am getting a headache and toothache from it. Yes, did you know that when you have a blocked nose it can cause your tooth to ache?? Something about having too much fluid somewhere and then causing the ache. I didn't know it until a doctor told me that a few years back.

I am coughing non-stop and my voice is giving. I hope there aren't many calls today coz I don't think I have the best voice to listen to today. I will be coughing every other second. And it doesn't help that my throat is swollen and so I can't breathe properly. My nose is blocked so can't breathe thru my nose, throat swollen so swallowing is a problem. Every breath I take tickles my throat, making me want to cough.

Here I go again. *cough cough cough*

And I am depleting the supply of flu medicine at home. And I think my perfume stinks today. It's Tommy Hilfiger but I don't think it smells the same anymore. *cough cough* If I find it stinky when I already have a blocked nose, what must the people around me be thinking?? *cough*

I hope I am not carrying a lethal army of germs on me and spreading it to every one that stays in the same room as me. Dammit. I must be terrorising the people who are squashed in the MRT train with me everyday. *cough* I can't help it though.

Breathe in. *cough* Breathe out. *cough*
Breathe in. *cough* Breathe out. *cough*

I am blogging a lot for a sick person.

Cravings

I am having some hungry thoughts now so I thought of blogging down all the things that I want to eat.

(1) Sushi
Adam has been having his crave too so I think it is rubbing off on me also.

(2) Chocolate chip cookies
Those rich, crumbly, really chocolatey kind.

(3) Cold fresh milk
If I am gg to have those cookies I want the milk too.

(4) Campbell's Soup
Cream of corn/mushroom to be exact. Like very long never drink mah.

(5) Sorbet
Just something refreshingly cold and tangy.

(6) Boiled/Steamed prawns
Yes, I love my seafood but the prawns would suffice for now.

(7) Carl's Jnr's beef chilli fries

I think this is it for now. Yes, FOR NOW. =)

Eat Pray Love - Elizabeth Gilbert

"I know this feeling all too intimately. I know the sad longing to delay the end of another February 4. This sadness is one of the great trials of the human experiment. As far as we know, we are the only species on the planet who have been given the gift - or the curse, perhaps - of awareness about our own mortality. Everything here eventually die; we're just the lucky ones who get to think about this fact everyday. How are you going to cope with this information? When I was nine, I couldn't do anything with it except cry. Later, over the years, my hypersensitive awareness of time's speed led me to push myself to experience life at a maximum pace. If I were going to have such a short visit on earth, I had to do everything possible to experience it now..."

I am still reading this book now but the first few chapters have already overwhelmed me with this sense of comfort and hope that in the end, nothing is more devastating than death so there's nothing to worry about the daily stuff. I like what an old woman told the author.

"There are only two questions that human beings have fought over, all through history. How much do you love me? And Who's in charge?"

Everything else is somehow manageable. But these two questions of love and control undo us all, trip us up and cause war, grief and suffering.

But all in all, the author somehow coped by writing to herself in a journal. And each time she scrawled "I need your help." She reminded herself how much she still loved herself even through all the dysfunctionality and the mistakes. That was the comfort and strength that she couldn't find anywhere else. What mattered was that she still loved herself, respected herself and that was enough. I like that.

At the end of the day, no matter what others say, if I choose not to let it affect me, it will not affect me. I don't have to sit around feeling sad and unhappy. I can seek out things and activities that makes me happy. The author has gone to Rome to learn Italian and gorged herself on the food there. Now I am with her on the journey to find God and serenity in an Ashram in India. I know she still has one last place to go in her book but I am relishing every word that is in the book.

What did I do so far? I chose to speak to one of my cousins and let it all out. Then I didn't think about it anymore. It wasn't hard to see that I shouldn't waste my time being upset about it. I went out with my friends and had a great time just having a quick dinner and then a drink together. I didn't allow my own sorrow spoil my time. Why should I allow this to consume my whole life? It just isn't worth it to give up other good things in life. I am thankful for these things.

Demoted

First, my pink jewellery box got demoted to just a plastic case. Then today, she had packed all my clothes and my extra pair of shoes and asked me to bring home. I'm not staying over anymore mah, so shouldn't need to have all those things at adam's place anymore. Even my spare hairband.

Somehow, I feel like I have been demoted. And it is because I can't stay over anymore. WTF.

It just got better

I forgot to complain yesterday about the amount of readings I have to do for the stupid GP. Yes, the ppl at HSS don't call it FYP (Final Year Project), they choose to call it GP (Graduation Project). Never do cannot graduate. Pah!

And those are just some background readings, i.e. all the courses we have been taking so far is USELESS. On top of tt, I will have to go find some of the studies done already and tt will probably be another 10 more articles. OMG.

So my holidays just got more MEANINGFUL.

Now tt I look at my calendar, I will start work on monday and tuition will continue on Mondays and Wednesday nights, plus all the readings... My time will just disappear man! Keeping me very very occupied... Argh!!! Tt's　why I don't like work. Let me just graduate and quickly start work!

Just a year more. It will pass in the blink of an eye.

It's sad

It's sad when good things come to an end. But then again, was it really good?? Now that u are crying and feeling down, is it really worth all the pain tt u go thru?? If it was a good thing, it wouldn't cause u pain and sorrow.

Maybe it is easy for others to say let go. U have been one of those ppl too before. But now tt it is ur turn, can u say no? Nothing is concrete yet, but think about it...

If he wants to eat the forbidden fruit, who can tell him no. If he decides to stay, will he really be satisfied with leaving the unknown to remain mysterious and stay by ur side? Who is to say tt his curiosity won't eat away at his heart, bit by bit, day by day?

On the other hand I know.

I know tt it hurts all the more because u love him. I know tt if he turns back, u will take his hand and everything will be forgotten. I know, because when I think of myself in ur shoes now, I know I will feel the same way too. I know tt is what will happen if he turns back too.

Nothing is set in stone yet so don't give up. Be proud of urself tt u are a sincere person tt stayed true to ur love. There is nothing to mourn for. Then again, don't make the ones tt really love u, worry for u.

I wish u weren't so far away tt I couldn't go to u. I wish I was able to say, "I will be right over."

I'm sorry tt I wasn't able to listen properly just now. I hope when u see this, u would be feeling better already. U have seen me in my worse pitfalls when it came to the matters of the heart. So please, let me know tt u are alright and tt u are willing to share ur thoughts and pain with me.