Let me try to recall when all these started...
21st Nov 2007, Wed
Mambo with Crystal, Izyan, Peiling and Huiyun after exams
28th Nov 2007, Wed
Dinner with Jay and Mambo with Huiyun and Yuwen to celebrate the end of Yuwen's exams
1st Dec 2007, Sat
Zouk with Jay & Co.
12th Dec 2007, Wed
O Bar with Xiaohui, then we went Mambo with Zhiyang, Joseph, Ruth, Chaangru & Co., Adam and Weichuen.
15th Dec 2007, Wed
Powerhouse with Jay
19th Dec 2007, Wed
The Pump Room, Zouk and then Dragonfly with Diane, Angela, Adam and Brian(!)
21st Dec 2007, Fri
ButterFactory with Adam and gang
Somehow I feel like I have been clubbing more than tt and drinking on more occasions than tt but well... haha!!! Right, but now tt I have typed them out, I dun feel so guilty... The record looks very tame... hahaha!!!
Well, 28th is at Boiler Room with Diane and Fat Cat!!! Gosh, I wanna club with Fat Cat!!!! Muackz!!!
Saturday, December 22, 2007
Excessive Partying
Festive season, can't get away from the party jibe!!! Shall drink more water and load up on Vit C!!
I just want to let loose and enjoy myself... I am only young once!!
I just want to let loose and enjoy myself... I am only young once!!
Wednesday, December 19, 2007
P.O.L.I.T.I.C.S
Today's training was sucky... So much politics... What happened to the love and passion of cheering?? What happened to team spirit and togetherness??
I never thought I would involve myself in this kind of mindless bullshit again. BUt then, I have to admit that they have their points also. It is true that those problems exist so we will have to work them out slowly... I just hope nothing else happens tml coz I am not gg and I hope just coz I didn't tell ZM in time about all this, things dun get screwed up even further.
I just want to cheer. I just want everything organised, like it was when I cheered under Jesse... I miss her a bit... I miss the seniors who cheered with me. I miss the joking and the ribbing and yes!!! Why these kind of talk is always surronding seniors de huh??
I rem when I was a freshie also, Jem they all had the bu shuang talk also becoz too many ppl were getting hurt coz we were not spotting well... I rem tt talk... I rem how defensive I got when Jem turned to say, "and i think it's the freshie girls who are not spotting properly..."
But these things are good in a way tt, everyone communicates what they feel and that they understand that their opinions are valued and accepted. It may disrupt the otherwise peaceful surface of things but better to iron these out before the pent up frustrations all erupt out together.
No one is perfect and I think I will have to remind myself that again and again in life. To not take things too personally. And that there are limits to myself and also the others. If I am able to understand and accept this knowledge, I will be a better person, more patient and forgiving, less demanding and more contented.
Let me sleep in peace tonight. I need the rest. I am gg Mambo with Diane in less than 24 hours!!
I never thought I would involve myself in this kind of mindless bullshit again. BUt then, I have to admit that they have their points also. It is true that those problems exist so we will have to work them out slowly... I just hope nothing else happens tml coz I am not gg and I hope just coz I didn't tell ZM in time about all this, things dun get screwed up even further.
I just want to cheer. I just want everything organised, like it was when I cheered under Jesse... I miss her a bit... I miss the seniors who cheered with me. I miss the joking and the ribbing and yes!!! Why these kind of talk is always surronding seniors de huh??
I rem when I was a freshie also, Jem they all had the bu shuang talk also becoz too many ppl were getting hurt coz we were not spotting well... I rem tt talk... I rem how defensive I got when Jem turned to say, "and i think it's the freshie girls who are not spotting properly..."
But these things are good in a way tt, everyone communicates what they feel and that they understand that their opinions are valued and accepted. It may disrupt the otherwise peaceful surface of things but better to iron these out before the pent up frustrations all erupt out together.
No one is perfect and I think I will have to remind myself that again and again in life. To not take things too personally. And that there are limits to myself and also the others. If I am able to understand and accept this knowledge, I will be a better person, more patient and forgiving, less demanding and more contented.
Let me sleep in peace tonight. I need the rest. I am gg Mambo with Diane in less than 24 hours!!
Thursday, December 13, 2007
what are you?
You Are a White Wine Woman |
 Breezy and casual, you know how to have fun when you're drinking. And even though you can kick back with a few drinks, you never let things get out of hand. Alcohol is not a social lubricant for you... it just enhances your already sparkling personality. You prefer to date a man who is optimistic, friendly, and funny. |
Scary
I cut my right foot's big toe last night at Zouk. I didn't feel anything the whole time I was at Zouk coz of the alcohol I think but the moment I came back into the room and removed my shoes, it hit me and it was so painful!!!
It's quite deep and my right foot's toes were all covered in blood. At first I didn't know which toe was the one bleeding and so I tried not to look at it and just showered. I used water and cotton wool to clean my toes up and then I saw the cut.
Apparently there were some broken glass on the floor last night. And I shudder to think where tt glass was from, who might have handled it and what it contained. I hope my toe doesn't rot.
And I hope it heals quickly coz now, when I exert a lil pressure on it, it will hurt. Hope by Friday it will all be ok. =)
It's quite deep and my right foot's toes were all covered in blood. At first I didn't know which toe was the one bleeding and so I tried not to look at it and just showered. I used water and cotton wool to clean my toes up and then I saw the cut.
Apparently there were some broken glass on the floor last night. And I shudder to think where tt glass was from, who might have handled it and what it contained. I hope my toe doesn't rot.
And I hope it heals quickly coz now, when I exert a lil pressure on it, it will hurt. Hope by Friday it will all be ok. =)
Wednesday, December 12, 2007
Toss up hands
At yesterday's training, Spencer managed to somehow toss me and catch me on his hands. But it was by luck and I imagine that the catch wasn't smooth and the spotters all had to help. And although everyone will say "challenge, challenge!" and all of the others will " I want to watch!", I wanted to try...
It would have been better if I didn't have the unnecessary attention. Bah!
But Spencer is very encouraging and I really cross my fingers that he won't give up tossing me like ZM did. I want to do it. I shall take Ruth as my role model and learn from her - how to jump up faster, flick off harder, and well, work with my base.
I am so glad that Ruth talked to me last night. Coz I really felt better after tt. I may be UNISUS's Challenge but she is ACES' Challenge (tt's what she said) so I felt motivated after talking to her. Really Mama Ruth leh!! =)
Well, will be clubbing with her tonight also. Looking forward to seeing her.
It would have been better if I didn't have the unnecessary attention. Bah!
But Spencer is very encouraging and I really cross my fingers that he won't give up tossing me like ZM did. I want to do it. I shall take Ruth as my role model and learn from her - how to jump up faster, flick off harder, and well, work with my base.
I am so glad that Ruth talked to me last night. Coz I really felt better after tt. I may be UNISUS's Challenge but she is ACES' Challenge (tt's what she said) so I felt motivated after talking to her. Really Mama Ruth leh!! =)
Well, will be clubbing with her tonight also. Looking forward to seeing her.
Tuesday, December 11, 2007
Grey areas are tempting
And zhiyang said if stay in grey area too long, will get stuck in it. Cannot come out. Cannot move backwards and cannot move forwards too. I know. And I am scared. But I just want to stay in that grey area for a while more.
It's that suspense that hangs over my head that can make my heart race. And well, grey areas allow for a lot of flexibility. It's like having multiple traffic lights blinking... Erm... That wasn't quite right.
It's like,
I don't know actually. haha.
And now, a little self-reflection.
If a guy is too nice to me, I will take it for granted and sooner or later I will hurt him. I will end up testing his limits to see how much he can take and how nice he can be until I will hurt him. I end up hurting him and hurting myself too.
Moral of the story - find someone who can "discipline" me and keep me in line.
If a guy cannot make me laugh along with him, I will end up thinking he is dumb and will treat him like tt for the rest of the time until he blows up and I just walk away.
If a guy cannot make me feel that I can be the "xiao nu ren" around him sometimes then I will just be destroying myself. Coz, I am strong outside, but I still want someone that is stronger who can let me be a little girl. I am not Xena. I cannot be strong all the time. I am human too. I will die like tt...
If a guy is too whiney, I cannot take it. Guys don't whine. Period.
If a guy is too indecisive, I also cannot take it.
If a guy is too MCP, I LAGI CANNOT TAKE IT.
Lastly, if a guy can make me feel secure with the knowledge that he will never hurt me, I will be at my best behaviour. =)
P.S: Mama said, a guy must be kind, honest and hardworking. But tt is what she says lah. My list is longer.
It's that suspense that hangs over my head that can make my heart race. And well, grey areas allow for a lot of flexibility. It's like having multiple traffic lights blinking... Erm... That wasn't quite right.
It's like,
I don't know actually. haha.
And now, a little self-reflection.
If a guy is too nice to me, I will take it for granted and sooner or later I will hurt him. I will end up testing his limits to see how much he can take and how nice he can be until I will hurt him. I end up hurting him and hurting myself too.
Moral of the story - find someone who can "discipline" me and keep me in line.
If a guy cannot make me laugh along with him, I will end up thinking he is dumb and will treat him like tt for the rest of the time until he blows up and I just walk away.
If a guy cannot make me feel that I can be the "xiao nu ren" around him sometimes then I will just be destroying myself. Coz, I am strong outside, but I still want someone that is stronger who can let me be a little girl. I am not Xena. I cannot be strong all the time. I am human too. I will die like tt...
If a guy is too whiney, I cannot take it. Guys don't whine. Period.
If a guy is too indecisive, I also cannot take it.
If a guy is too MCP, I LAGI CANNOT TAKE IT.
Lastly, if a guy can make me feel secure with the knowledge that he will never hurt me, I will be at my best behaviour. =)
P.S: Mama said, a guy must be kind, honest and hardworking. But tt is what she says lah. My list is longer.
Selfish Me
I am selfish aren't I?
and wilful too.
But sometimes I cannot delay gratification and whatever I want, I want it now. I admitted that much to my mama too. So if I know it, I should change it right?? But tt is so not possible... It's just hard when it happens on urself.
But then, a week will seem like a really long time... how?!
and wilful too.
But sometimes I cannot delay gratification and whatever I want, I want it now. I admitted that much to my mama too. So if I know it, I should change it right?? But tt is so not possible... It's just hard when it happens on urself.
But then, a week will seem like a really long time... how?!
Monday, December 10, 2007
We are just short of that
Last night, I was out at Siglap and then to East Coast Park. He was driving so for a while, we were like, go where? Go where? GO WHERE?? hahahaha!!! When you have the car, it is more convenient and so suddenly, there are too many options.
Had coffee while we talked about more serious stuff. Talking about each other's families and stuff. Changed location and i had half pint of Hooegarden while he had a glass of red. We talked about more stuff. Went to ECP and bought ice cream. walked and talked about more things. Shared about exes and what was it like with family. Things like that.
His right shoulder has been dislocated twice.
His right knee was injured too.
He says he needs a good wife to take care of him. I told him to get a maid.
He thinks I am homely (compared to him, maybe yes. but my mum thinks otherwise)
He thinks I will make a good wife. I said thank you.
And then, the exes. Apparently, there's still one of his hovering in the background, keeping in contact with his family and all. But he says he has no intention to get back with her. It's been 2-3years since they broke up and there was tt Jap gf after her too. But i seriously admire the girl's guts. 100% sincerity leh.
And then, I just wished for time to stop. We are warming up to each other i guess. He's a little more animated when he talks. I am starting to show my unglam expressions also, pouting and all. haha!! And yah, accidentally let my racist side show also... Oops!!
I just want time to stop when I am with him. I just want to feel him beside me and although I still feel a lil shy but I still want to just sit beside him and listen to the waves. I just want to hold his hand and walk with him. I want to laugh while he carries me. I want to smell his cologne when he hugs me. I want him to pinch my cheeks when I pout. =)
We are just short of that 3 words i guess. I wonder when those will turn up...
Had coffee while we talked about more serious stuff. Talking about each other's families and stuff. Changed location and i had half pint of Hooegarden while he had a glass of red. We talked about more stuff. Went to ECP and bought ice cream. walked and talked about more things. Shared about exes and what was it like with family. Things like that.
His right shoulder has been dislocated twice.
His right knee was injured too.
He says he needs a good wife to take care of him. I told him to get a maid.
He thinks I am homely (compared to him, maybe yes. but my mum thinks otherwise)
He thinks I will make a good wife. I said thank you.
And then, the exes. Apparently, there's still one of his hovering in the background, keeping in contact with his family and all. But he says he has no intention to get back with her. It's been 2-3years since they broke up and there was tt Jap gf after her too. But i seriously admire the girl's guts. 100% sincerity leh.
And then, I just wished for time to stop. We are warming up to each other i guess. He's a little more animated when he talks. I am starting to show my unglam expressions also, pouting and all. haha!! And yah, accidentally let my racist side show also... Oops!!
I just want time to stop when I am with him. I just want to feel him beside me and although I still feel a lil shy but I still want to just sit beside him and listen to the waves. I just want to hold his hand and walk with him. I want to laugh while he carries me. I want to smell his cologne when he hugs me. I want him to pinch my cheeks when I pout. =)
We are just short of that 3 words i guess. I wonder when those will turn up...
Thursday, December 06, 2007
SM Queen =P
Sadistic me love looking at the bruises... After each training I scrutinise myself to see what are the new injuries that I have collected... haha!! I guess it's coz they are testament to my return to UNISUS.
I fell today but no major ailments. But the knock sort of shook me and reminded me why i like cheer so much. I should just pick myself up and try again and again and again. Hehehe!!!
I will try to regain every single shard of my confidence and try again and again and again until I can do every stunt. Today I was so happy when I felt ZM touched my heel when he tossed me up. It wasn't a successful toss-up but I felt I was improving. And just tt TOUCH was enough to make me want to try until i get it right again.
Just now at Ah-fang, ZM was describing what are the stunts that he want to do. And I know the numbers are limited and there are many other smaller girls. BUT, inside, there is this niggly feeling that I also want to be UP THERE. A bit IMPOSSIBLE but when u hope, then u will work even harder. Of course, at the end of the day, what matters is that it works out well.
At least I know I will be part of the 2-2-3. Dunno is it just me, but I looked in the mirror just now and I thought my arms looked thicker. hahaha!!! Amazon woman. Jem will be so proud of me.
Year 1, I cried at the end of HO coz i felt it was a pity tt we couldn't compete.
Last year, I cried at the end of HO coz I was so happy tt UNISUS got silver and partly regret tt I didn't join them.
This year, I hope to cry at the end of HO coz we got G**D. Shall not jinx it by saying it out. haha!!
First time ever, I am smiling because I got bruises and knocks!! =)
I fell today but no major ailments. But the knock sort of shook me and reminded me why i like cheer so much. I should just pick myself up and try again and again and again. Hehehe!!!
I will try to regain every single shard of my confidence and try again and again and again until I can do every stunt. Today I was so happy when I felt ZM touched my heel when he tossed me up. It wasn't a successful toss-up but I felt I was improving. And just tt TOUCH was enough to make me want to try until i get it right again.
Just now at Ah-fang, ZM was describing what are the stunts that he want to do. And I know the numbers are limited and there are many other smaller girls. BUT, inside, there is this niggly feeling that I also want to be UP THERE. A bit IMPOSSIBLE but when u hope, then u will work even harder. Of course, at the end of the day, what matters is that it works out well.
At least I know I will be part of the 2-2-3. Dunno is it just me, but I looked in the mirror just now and I thought my arms looked thicker. hahaha!!! Amazon woman. Jem will be so proud of me.
Year 1, I cried at the end of HO coz i felt it was a pity tt we couldn't compete.
Last year, I cried at the end of HO coz I was so happy tt UNISUS got silver and partly regret tt I didn't join them.
This year, I hope to cry at the end of HO coz we got G**D. Shall not jinx it by saying it out. haha!!
First time ever, I am smiling because I got bruises and knocks!! =)
Tuesday, December 04, 2007
Ambiguity
I can't handle ambiguity, that's a known fact. I am usually TOO DIRECT, as in, I want answers now Now NOW. But this time, I am not able to find the guts to do that.
When I am not sure of what the other thinks and expects, I can't make my move. And it is a known thing that I can be quite dense and not get hints. But if I psych myself to try look for hints, I become too sensitive!!!!!!!
Objectivity only comes to me when it's about others. When it comes to me, I totally lose track. Why can't I be a know-it-all???
When I am not sure of what the other thinks and expects, I can't make my move. And it is a known thing that I can be quite dense and not get hints. But if I psych myself to try look for hints, I become too sensitive!!!!!!!
Objectivity only comes to me when it's about others. When it comes to me, I totally lose track. Why can't I be a know-it-all???
Sunday, December 02, 2007
Quote
In the words of Avril Lavigne (well, her lyrics anyway):
You make me so hot
Make me wanna drop
It's so ridiculous
I can barely stop
I can hardly breathe
You make me wanna scream
You're so fabulous
You're so good to me baby, baby
You're so good to me baby, baby
This song is best sung when I am high and then I can pretend that I wasn't aware of what I was doing... Alcohol = Dutch courage and that is DANGEROUS.
But then again, I don't think I was quite aware of what I was thinking...In fact, I am wondering what the hell did I do, am I in trouble now???
And then there is the other matter. When I saw the SMS I was a bit dumbstruck. Ok, not a bit but still... And sorry girls, this, I have to think it through myself. Coz you all won't be able to help. The only one that might be able to help is in Sweden and won't be coming back for 3 more weeks. And I think I want to think it through myself also, instead of seeking opinions from you girls all the time. I think it is time for me to stop the jokey-jokey stuff and really think..
Vexing...
I couldn't bring myself to reply that SMS, coz I didn't know what to say. Dumbstruck remember??
You make me so hot
Make me wanna drop
It's so ridiculous
I can barely stop
I can hardly breathe
You make me wanna scream
You're so fabulous
You're so good to me baby, baby
You're so good to me baby, baby
This song is best sung when I am high and then I can pretend that I wasn't aware of what I was doing... Alcohol = Dutch courage and that is DANGEROUS.
But then again, I don't think I was quite aware of what I was thinking...In fact, I am wondering what the hell did I do, am I in trouble now???
And then there is the other matter. When I saw the SMS I was a bit dumbstruck. Ok, not a bit but still... And sorry girls, this, I have to think it through myself. Coz you all won't be able to help. The only one that might be able to help is in Sweden and won't be coming back for 3 more weeks. And I think I want to think it through myself also, instead of seeking opinions from you girls all the time. I think it is time for me to stop the jokey-jokey stuff and really think..
Vexing...
I couldn't bring myself to reply that SMS, coz I didn't know what to say. Dumbstruck remember??
Saturday, December 01, 2007
Queen of Piracy
I just downloaded the ending theme song for Ouran High School Host Club. Wahaha!!! Yes, the same ring tone that the Hitachiin brothers have for Tamaki Suou a.k.a The Lord... Too bad I don't have the wires with me to transfer it to my phone... Want to use that now, so badly man!!!
Downloaded a few other songs that were on the MTV charts also... Song of the moment: Apologize - Timbaland presents One Republic I tell you, I simply cannot live w/o LimeWire... Bestest friend ever!!!
It's a really nice song... Simple lyrics, beautiful melody... I think I am into these kind of soothing melodies at the moment... Even if the lyrics tell a sorrowful tale, I still find it nice and it leaves me in a sorta good mood!!!
Talking about good mood, I am gg to watch a movie later!!! The Kingdom!!! Wanted to watch it for very long le, coz Jennifer Garner is in it!!! Bimbotic it may sound, but I have loved her since she started kicking butt on ALIAS... Aspired to be able to fight like her lah!!! SO, I CANNOT MISS THE KINGDOM!!! Even if some people said not very interesting and typical anti-terrorist a la US style... I STILL MUST WATCH!!!
I still want to watch STARDUST although old show, and HERO...
Although itchy-fingers me want to blog about IT but I shall curb myself and try not to jinx it this time by talking too early about IT... Clive didn't work out (at all, that #$@&%!!) but this time round it might be ok.
OK, dishes need to be washed and the kitchen floor needs to be scrubbed!!!
Downloaded a few other songs that were on the MTV charts also... Song of the moment: Apologize - Timbaland presents One Republic I tell you, I simply cannot live w/o LimeWire... Bestest friend ever!!!
It's a really nice song... Simple lyrics, beautiful melody... I think I am into these kind of soothing melodies at the moment... Even if the lyrics tell a sorrowful tale, I still find it nice and it leaves me in a sorta good mood!!!
Talking about good mood, I am gg to watch a movie later!!! The Kingdom!!! Wanted to watch it for very long le, coz Jennifer Garner is in it!!! Bimbotic it may sound, but I have loved her since she started kicking butt on ALIAS... Aspired to be able to fight like her lah!!! SO, I CANNOT MISS THE KINGDOM!!! Even if some people said not very interesting and typical anti-terrorist a la US style... I STILL MUST WATCH!!!
I still want to watch STARDUST although old show, and HERO...
Although itchy-fingers me want to blog about IT but I shall curb myself and try not to jinx it this time by talking too early about IT... Clive didn't work out (at all, that #$@&%!!) but this time round it might be ok.
OK, dishes need to be washed and the kitchen floor needs to be scrubbed!!!
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