Record of clubbing dates

Let me try to recall when all these started...

21st Nov 2007, Wed
Mambo with Crystal, Izyan, Peiling and Huiyun after exams

28th Nov 2007, Wed
Dinner with Jay and Mambo with Huiyun and Yuwen to celebrate the end of Yuwen's exams

1st Dec 2007, Sat
Zouk with Jay & Co.

12th Dec 2007, Wed
O Bar with Xiaohui, then we went Mambo with Zhiyang, Joseph, Ruth, Chaangru & Co., Adam and Weichuen.

15th Dec 2007, Wed
Powerhouse with Jay

19th Dec 2007, Wed
The Pump Room, Zouk and then Dragonfly with Diane, Angela, Adam and Brian(!)

21st Dec 2007, Fri
ButterFactory with Adam and gang

Somehow I feel like I have been clubbing more than tt and drinking on more occasions than tt but well... haha!!! Right, but now tt I have typed them out, I dun feel so guilty... The record looks very tame... hahaha!!!

Well, 28th is at Boiler Room with Diane and Fat Cat!!! Gosh, I wanna club with Fat Cat!!!! Muackz!!!

Excessive Partying

Festive season, can't get away from the party jibe!!! Shall drink more water and load up on Vit C!!

I just want to let loose and enjoy myself... I am only young once!!

P.O.L.I.T.I.C.S

Today's training was sucky... So much politics... What happened to the love and passion of cheering?? What happened to team spirit and togetherness??

I never thought I would involve myself in this kind of mindless bullshit again. BUt then, I have to admit that they have their points also. It is true that those problems exist so we will have to work them out slowly... I just hope nothing else happens tml coz I am not gg and I hope just coz I didn't tell ZM in time about all this, things dun get screwed up even further.

I just want to cheer. I just want everything organised, like it was when I cheered under Jesse... I miss her a bit... I miss the seniors who cheered with me. I miss the joking and the ribbing and yes!!! Why these kind of talk is always surronding seniors de huh??

I rem when I was a freshie also, Jem they all had the bu shuang talk also becoz too many ppl were getting hurt coz we were not spotting well... I rem tt talk... I rem how defensive I got when Jem turned to say, "and i think it's the freshie girls who are not spotting properly..."

But these things are good in a way tt, everyone communicates what they feel and that they understand that their opinions are valued and accepted. It may disrupt the otherwise peaceful surface of things but better to iron these out before the pent up frustrations all erupt out together.

No one is perfect and I think I will have to remind myself that again and again in life. To not take things too personally. And that there are limits to myself and also the others. If I am able to understand and accept this knowledge, I will be a better person, more patient and forgiving, less demanding and more contented.

Let me sleep in peace tonight. I need the rest. I am gg Mambo with Diane in less than 24 hours!!

what are you?

You Are a White Wine Woman

Breezy and casual, you know how to have fun when you're drinking. And even though you can kick back with a few drinks, you never let things get out of hand. Alcohol is not a social lubricant for you... it just enhances your already sparkling personality. You prefer to date a man who is optimistic, friendly, and funny.

What Kind of Drinking Woman Are You?

Scary

I cut my right foot's big toe last night at Zouk. I didn't feel anything the whole time I was at Zouk coz of the alcohol I think but the moment I came back into the room and removed my shoes, it hit me and it was so painful!!!

It's quite deep and my right foot's toes were all covered in blood. At first I didn't know which toe was the one bleeding and so I tried not to look at it and just showered. I used water and cotton wool to clean my toes up and then I saw the cut.

Apparently there were some broken glass on the floor last night. And I shudder to think where tt glass was from, who might have handled it and what it contained. I hope my toe doesn't rot.

And I hope it heals quickly coz now, when I exert a lil pressure on it, it will hurt. Hope by Friday it will all be ok. =)

Toss up hands

At yesterday's training, Spencer managed to somehow toss me and catch me on his hands. But it was by luck and I imagine that the catch wasn't smooth and the spotters all had to help. And although everyone will say "challenge, challenge!" and all of the others will " I want to watch!", I wanted to try...

It would have been better if I didn't have the unnecessary attention. Bah!

But Spencer is very encouraging and I really cross my fingers that he won't give up tossing me like ZM did. I want to do it. I shall take Ruth as my role model and learn from her - how to jump up faster, flick off harder, and well, work with my base.

I am so glad that Ruth talked to me last night. Coz I really felt better after tt. I may be UNISUS's Challenge but she is ACES' Challenge (tt's what she said) so I felt motivated after talking to her. Really Mama Ruth leh!! =)

Well, will be clubbing with her tonight also. Looking forward to seeing her.

Grey areas are tempting

And zhiyang said if stay in grey area too long, will get stuck in it. Cannot come out. Cannot move backwards and cannot move forwards too. I know. And I am scared. But I just want to stay in that grey area for a while more.

It's that suspense that hangs over my head that can make my heart race. And well, grey areas allow for a lot of flexibility. It's like having multiple traffic lights blinking... Erm... That wasn't quite right.

It's like,

I don't know actually. haha.

And now, a little self-reflection.

If a guy is too nice to me, I will take it for granted and sooner or later I will hurt him. I will end up testing his limits to see how much he can take and how nice he can be until I will hurt him. I end up hurting him and hurting myself too.
Moral of the story - find someone who can "discipline" me and keep me in line.

If a guy cannot make me laugh along with him, I will end up thinking he is dumb and will treat him like tt for the rest of the time until he blows up and I just walk away.

If a guy cannot make me feel that I can be the "xiao nu ren" around him sometimes then I will just be destroying myself. Coz, I am strong outside, but I still want someone that is stronger who can let me be a little girl. I am not Xena. I cannot be strong all the time. I am human too. I will die like tt...

If a guy is too whiney, I cannot take it. Guys don't whine. Period.

If a guy is too indecisive, I also cannot take it.

If a guy is too MCP, I LAGI CANNOT TAKE IT.

Lastly, if a guy can make me feel secure with the knowledge that he will never hurt me, I will be at my best behaviour. =)

P.S: Mama said, a guy must be kind, honest and hardworking. But tt is what she says lah. My list is longer.

Selfish Me

I am selfish aren't I?

and wilful too.

But sometimes I cannot delay gratification and whatever I want, I want it now. I admitted that much to my mama too. So if I know it, I should change it right?? But tt is so not possible... It's just hard when it happens on urself.

But then, a week will seem like a really long time... how?!

We are just short of that

Last night, I was out at Siglap and then to East Coast Park. He was driving so for a while, we were like, go where? Go where? GO WHERE?? hahahaha!!! When you have the car, it is more convenient and so suddenly, there are too many options.

Had coffee while we talked about more serious stuff. Talking about each other's families and stuff. Changed location and i had half pint of Hooegarden while he had a glass of red. We talked about more stuff. Went to ECP and bought ice cream. walked and talked about more things. Shared about exes and what was it like with family. Things like that.

His right shoulder has been dislocated twice.

His right knee was injured too.

He says he needs a good wife to take care of him. I told him to get a maid.

He thinks I am homely (compared to him, maybe yes. but my mum thinks otherwise)

He thinks I will make a good wife. I said thank you.

And then, the exes. Apparently, there's still one of his hovering in the background, keeping in contact with his family and all. But he says he has no intention to get back with her. It's been 2-3years since they broke up and there was tt Jap gf after her too. But i seriously admire the girl's guts. 100% sincerity leh.

And then, I just wished for time to stop. We are warming up to each other i guess. He's a little more animated when he talks. I am starting to show my unglam expressions also, pouting and all. haha!! And yah, accidentally let my racist side show also... Oops!!

I just want time to stop when I am with him. I just want to feel him beside me and although I still feel a lil shy but I still want to just sit beside him and listen to the waves. I just want to hold his hand and walk with him. I want to laugh while he carries me. I want to smell his cologne when he hugs me. I want him to pinch my cheeks when I pout. =)

We are just short of that 3 words i guess. I wonder when those will turn up...

SM Queen =P

Sadistic me love looking at the bruises... After each training I scrutinise myself to see what are the new injuries that I have collected... haha!! I guess it's coz they are testament to my return to UNISUS.

I fell today but no major ailments. But the knock sort of shook me and reminded me why i like cheer so much. I should just pick myself up and try again and again and again. Hehehe!!!

I will try to regain every single shard of my confidence and try again and again and again until I can do every stunt. Today I was so happy when I felt ZM touched my heel when he tossed me up. It wasn't a successful toss-up but I felt I was improving. And just tt TOUCH was enough to make me want to try until i get it right again.

Just now at Ah-fang, ZM was describing what are the stunts that he want to do. And I know the numbers are limited and there are many other smaller girls. BUT, inside, there is this niggly feeling that I also want to be UP THERE. A bit IMPOSSIBLE but when u hope, then u will work even harder. Of course, at the end of the day, what matters is that it works out well.

At least I know I will be part of the 2-2-3. Dunno is it just me, but I looked in the mirror just now and I thought my arms looked thicker. hahaha!!! Amazon woman. Jem will be so proud of me.

Year 1, I cried at the end of HO coz i felt it was a pity tt we couldn't compete.
Last year, I cried at the end of HO coz I was so happy tt UNISUS got silver and partly regret tt I didn't join them.
This year, I hope to cry at the end of HO coz we got G**D. Shall not jinx it by saying it out. haha!!

First time ever, I am smiling because I got bruises and knocks!! =)

Ambiguity

I can't handle ambiguity, that's a known fact. I am usually TOO DIRECT, as in, I want answers now Now NOW. But this time, I am not able to find the guts to do that.

When I am not sure of what the other thinks and expects, I can't make my move. And it is a known thing that I can be quite dense and not get hints. But if I psych myself to try look for hints, I become too sensitive!!!!!!!

Objectivity only comes to me when it's about others. When it comes to me, I totally lose track. Why can't I be a know-it-all???

Quote

In the words of Avril Lavigne (well, her lyrics anyway):

You make me so hot
Make me wanna drop
It's so ridiculous
I can barely stop
I can hardly breathe
You make me wanna scream
You're so fabulous
You're so good to me baby, baby
You're so good to me baby, baby

This song is best sung when I am high and then I can pretend that I wasn't aware of what I was doing... Alcohol = Dutch courage and that is DANGEROUS.
But then again, I don't think I was quite aware of what I was thinking...In fact, I am wondering what the hell did I do, am I in trouble now???

And then there is the other matter. When I saw the SMS I was a bit dumbstruck. Ok, not a bit but still... And sorry girls, this, I have to think it through myself. Coz you all won't be able to help. The only one that might be able to help is in Sweden and won't be coming back for 3 more weeks. And I think I want to think it through myself also, instead of seeking opinions from you girls all the time. I think it is time for me to stop the jokey-jokey stuff and really think..

Vexing...

I couldn't bring myself to reply that SMS, coz I didn't know what to say. Dumbstruck remember??

Queen of Piracy

I just downloaded the ending theme song for Ouran High School Host Club. Wahaha!!! Yes, the same ring tone that the Hitachiin brothers have for Tamaki Suou a.k.a The Lord... Too bad I don't have the wires with me to transfer it to my phone... Want to use that now, so badly man!!!

Downloaded a few other songs that were on the MTV charts also... Song of the moment: Apologize - Timbaland presents One Republic I tell you, I simply cannot live w/o LimeWire... Bestest friend ever!!!

It's a really nice song... Simple lyrics, beautiful melody... I think I am into these kind of soothing melodies at the moment... Even if the lyrics tell a sorrowful tale, I still find it nice and it leaves me in a sorta good mood!!!

Talking about good mood, I am gg to watch a movie later!!! The Kingdom!!! Wanted to watch it for very long le, coz Jennifer Garner is in it!!! Bimbotic it may sound, but I have loved her since she started kicking butt on ALIAS... Aspired to be able to fight like her lah!!! SO, I CANNOT MISS THE KINGDOM!!! Even if some people said not very interesting and typical anti-terrorist a la US style... I STILL MUST WATCH!!!

I still want to watch STARDUST although old show, and HERO...

Although itchy-fingers me want to blog about IT but I shall curb myself and try not to jinx it this time by talking too early about IT... Clive didn't work out (at all, that #$@&%!!) but this time round it might be ok.

OK, dishes need to be washed and the kitchen floor needs to be scrubbed!!!

Back in Hall

Over the weekend, I realised that I miss hall leh!! Wahahaha!!! So funny right??

I really find that at home, other than housework and TV and the Sims, nothing much for me to do... I have read all the books that are at home... Oh yah!!! Any nice books to lend me??? I love reading and can read very fast so I always run out of nice things to read!!! The good ones, I don't mind reading again and again but can't possibly ask me to read finish last night, then start on it again today right??

Maybe coz no one is at home... Ami is still busy mugging so if I go home, I end up disturbing her only... But she has moved all her stuff home... She will be gg to school from Simei for this week. Next week, her exams start!!!

I brought my knitting with me, and a Studio Ghibli DVD to watch... Relax a bit... And I can't wait for all the sisters to finish exams then we can play tgt!!!

Lastly, I want to start Cheer ASAP!! Can feel the blood rush already leh!!!

The Strength of a man

This just came in through the email... Yes, I want a man with strength too. =)

The strength of a man isn't in how many women he's loved.
It's in whether he can be true to the ONE woman he's trying to love.

The strength of a man isn't seen in the width of his shoulders.
It's seen in the width of his arms that encircle and protect you.

The strength of a man isn't in the deep tone of his voice.
It is in the gentle words he whispers.

The strength of a man isn't in the words he speaks.
It's in how he keeps his word.

The strength of a man isn't in how hard he hits.
It's in how tender he touches.

The strength of a man isn't in the weight he can lift.
It's in the burdens he can carry.

The strength of a man isn't in the hair on his chest.
It's in his heart that lies within his chest.

The strength of a man isn't in how he makes love.
It's in the understanding that there is more way to making love, than just making love for fun himself

New Skin Again

Was so free, didn't know what to do so TADAH!!!!

New Blog Skin!!!

Took damn long to edit so that everythings fits in lah!! CHOYA was the main culprit... Had to adjust a lot of things to fit CHOYA back in... But I guess this skin is what I like at the moment... When I grow tired of it again, I will change... Depend on mood de lah!!! Cannot go skin shopping and editing all the time...

Talked to my mama just now, can tell she very homesick... Poor thing... She doesn't know tt Aya is gg to surprise her during the New Year yet... Felt like telling her to make her fell better but it's Aya's surprise, so don't spoil... And Aya is in GERMANY now so can't consult her also...

Pictures from Mambo

We had a BLAST at Mambo and well, we couldn't resist taking pictures... At where?? At the toilet outside Phuture of course!!! HAhahaha!!! We are like forever taking pictures in the toilet... Maybe coz the mirrors in there help a lot when we try to "zhi pai" and the lighting there is better too!! Oh yes, and we can check to see if every single strand of hair is in place...


Ai ren and me... Were already quite HIGH coz we were drinking at Dbl O before we headed to Zouk... And the bouncer at the entrance took a long time to stare at my IC before asking me in mock exasperation, "WHY?!?!?!?! Why did you choose Singapore???" (Jap name and PINK ic...) My HIGHNESS resulted in me replying, " Coz the school fees will be cheaper..."

The Psych majors happily celebrating the end of 2.5years of torture... It's just 3 more semesters to go!!! And yes, THIS IS THE FUCKING TRADITION!!! I just feel sad tt we won't be able to club with the same euphoria when we graduate... Work will be an endless cycle in life with no milestones like "END OF EXAMS" to be celebrated in the same kind of manner as we do now... Haiz...

Well, I never knew Crystal and Izyan hated Peiling so much... Squeeze her out of the picture... SEE!!! Peiling looks like she is falling backwards!!! Who ask Peiling to say she need to CONSIDER before she can decide whether or not to go clubbing with us... Sheeezz...
But then, Peiling is so cute... of course must include her lah!!! Hehehe!!! I think I will miss her blurness and sotongness when she goes to China... Be smart when u are there and dun give those Ah-Tiongs bully you!!! AND PLEASE DUN FIND A FUCKING AH TIONG AS UR BF!!! WE WILL STOP TALKING TO U IF TT EVER HAPPENS!!!!

Exams Over, what now??

Mambo tonight girls!!! Exams are over!!! Finally, can sleep in peace, the air smells fresher, the world seems brighter and well, everything just seems nicer!!!

Just had lunch, ate too fast i think... A bit tummy cramp... If not for the fact tt Ai ren still mugging for her elective later, i think i will dance around the whole room... Tt jelly-fish like kind of dance!!!

Anyway, nap first... anything else can wait... Nap and conserve energy for tonight!!! =)

The day before...

It's tml... Venus' paper I mean, but I have no mood to study... Was supposed to wake up at 7plus to go for breakfast with Dav and JY but because Dav was still sleeping, JY and I also went back to sleep... and woke up only at 11plus... Now Dav's in the shower.

I am hungry.

Will push aside mugging for a while and have breakfast, then wash my bedsheets... I love washing bedsheets... Especially my blanket. And the weather is good today so I guess I can have my blanket back by tonight!!! Smelling of the sun...

Unruly hair... forgot to bring my kiap-kiap back to hall so have to use the combs to keep it tgt... I want my kiap-kiap!!!

And now WK says a drunk video of him is circulating in school... wahahaha!!! I WANT TO WATCH TOO!!!! I can't believe he got himself so drunk to the extent that the video is making him a "star" in school... wahahaha!!!
Please send me the video, I want to watch!!!

New Phone

This is the new phone that I got!!! It's PINK!!! But no, I am not turning into a Hello Kitty Girl... It was just really pretty so I got it... Cheap leh, after trade-in $48 only... And I had no problems switching from Sony Ericsson to Nokia again... Smsing is not a problem at all!!!

It's really slim but I got a plastic casing to protect the phone... U all know how chor lor I can be and I might just drop it or something so I got the casing... Slightly thicker... Just slightly only...

I love my new phone, just can't keep my hands off it and yes, I like the display... But just that it's a trade off. Either I have the organiser view or I put a picture as the wallpaper... I think on and off will switch view... Fit my liking... And I already downloaded 2 themes... Itchy hands mah!!!

Weekend before the freedom

It's Friday and well, it's the weekend before exams are over... It's a surreal feeling, like, I can't believe the hell is finally going to be over... The light at the end of the dark tunnel is getting bigger and bigger...

I just hope my results come out OK, coz, having the exams over and having the results come out are 2 seperate things. =)

Don't Worry

Yup, Peiling is imitating Venus again... "Don'tWorry!!"

Waiting for time to pass and for forensic science to be over. After 7pm, it will be 2 down, 2 more to go. This morning's HP322 was like shite but couldn't be bothered to feel demoralised or panicky coz don't have time for such LUXURIES~!!

Good thing I could fall asleep last night. Was a bit apprehensive at first and I remember thinking to myself, "Maybe I should see the school counsellor next sem and ask for sleeping pills to help me sleep better during the exam period." No need for that now I think. Hopefully I have gotten over this exam anxiety shit. Slept a it late last night and woke up once in the middle of the night but basically, enough rest I guess.

We agreed that Talia's a really good test-maker. Actually, I really like her a lot, especially after taking Psych Testing but her papers are real killers!!! No change there from the time of I/O Psych I think... But I still like her. *grinz*

Am gg to run off once I complete Forensic paper later and go back to hall. Rest and then start on Catherine's report. Finish it up by tonight and then submit tml morning. Then study HG101...

I think I want to go on a holiday. I fucking need a holiday. Just a weekend away will be good too. Just slack at some secluded beach or something. Slack. Bake in the sun.

Things to do after exams:
(1) Look for attachment companies
(2) Scout for FOC SP Night venue
(3) Ideas for FOC Main Comm video
(4) Look for part-time jobs

Just one more week. One. More. Week.

Chocolate Fortune Telling

日子：08月26日

　　巧克力：三层圆饼（Three－Chocolate Squares）

　　成份：白、黑、纯巧克力沟忌廉　

　　特性：引人注目

　　生日占卜：这天生日你，无论在公司、家庭、团体，都是站在引人注目的位置，你喜欢群体生活，共同创造事业和理想。你很清楚自己的存在价值，你的贡献无疑是整个团体的支持点。虽然你不是理想的领导者，但你需要别人的认同和赞赏，否则会失去应有的光采。



8月26日—小金梅草。

花语：寻求光明。

花占卜：你天性多疑，对人戒心很重，人际关系亦不如意。造成这种局面只因你想得太多，何不放开点，多结识些朋友，到时你的观感可能会改变。恋爱不一定是伤心的，也有很多动人的甜蜜故事。

幸运花：玫瑰，天竺葵，三色紫罗兰。

花箴言：爱有酸甜苦辣，但爱过总比从没爱过好。


8月26日出生的人会成为很好的父母，因为他们十分清楚组织与结构在小孩生命中所代表的重要性，那些比较没什么雄心大志的人，通常也比较不会对他们的下一代有太严格的要求。然而，如果他们是因为缺乏才能，或在事业上无法得到他人的重视而一直深觉挫折的话，就极有可能会将希望寄托于比较聪明的小孩身上，并因此对小孩展开过于严厉的敦促。

许多8月26日出生的人都能享受充当幕后人员的工作乐趣，而且在一些特殊的例子中，甚至还能成为某些知名人物或团体背后一股强大的推进力，他们不仅是优秀的团队分子，还真正能满足于幕后不为人所知的角色扮演。与其汲汲营营于唤起他们的注意力，他们宁可优游地享受自由所带来的快感；而且他们在工作时，也不会放任太多的自我主观意识来干预他们正在进行的事。像这样肯牺牲奉献的人，对家庭或企业来说恰如黄金一般珍贵。

然而，8月26日出生的人迟早必能攀到个人的巅峰（通常会在50岁或60岁左右的年纪还会自问道，“嗨！这对我来说有什么道理？”或“喔！老天！到底我这一生中发生了什么样的事？”到了这样的时机，他们就可以大大方方地挥别一些帮衬的活动，迈向一条崭新的道路。虽然，如此一来可能会吓到长久以来一直依赖他们的人，或是将他们视为理所当然而不加重视的人，但他们却会认为自己的确值得享有这种新发现到的自由，且当这种改变发生时，他们也不觉得应该为些而感到太大的愧疚。

建议
有时候，太过于想投合别人的心意并不是件好事，你可以学着独立自主一些。而在工作上，你也要以稍微强硬一点的方式，去要求拥有将事情做好的权力。不要依赖他人而过活，有时也是可以为自己作主。

优点
优势、自制、迎合他人、合群。

缺点
消极被动、压抑、自我牺牲。

Blog Rating

San Jose Dating

I don't know what to say... Crystal got rated "PG" for her blog but i got "G"... Should I be ashamed of myself?? haha!

...

...

That's my mood now. "..." is the way I would describe it. I don't feel anything and all that I am thinking about is how to describe this feeling. It's a circular kind of situation. I don't know.

I know I am supposed to be typing my HP403 report so that I can basically concentrate on revision from this weekend onwards. But my fingers are on the keyboard for entirely different reasons. Blogging. About this "..." feeling. What is that?

Maybe it's the aching left arm and left thigh due to cheerleading last night. Don't ask me why is it only the left side.

Maybe it's the apprehension and anxiety from hearing the Graduation Project briefing just now.

Maybe it's because of...

Maybe it's got nothing to do with any of these at all. Maybe I just don't have motivation to do anything any more. Why do I do what I do?? Why do I see all these as important but are they really?? Who is to say that all these are important?? Who is to say that all these are going to be helpful in life?? Can they predict my future and know what use all these will be??

My nails are too long. I need to cut them.

I can see SQ's shoemark on my left arm. How fascinating, it just missed my burnt scar. Fried a portion of my left arm when the hot oil splashed up and landed o my left arm. Like Crystal said, we now know what cooked human flesh looks like. I wonder if it will leave a scar.

Just what am I here for?? Is there a reason why I stand where I am, experience what I have, cope with what is thrown to me and hurt the way I do? Am I here to do good or inflict hurt? Or am I here to benefit or lose out? Am I here to be there for someone or to walk out on someone else? Or am I here to be comforted or to be left behind?

What is it?

Davina's Birthday is TODAY

Today is Davina's birthday... Happy Birthday!!!! But these shots were taken on Saturday when she threw her party at her home!!! Hope you like all the presents girl!!

Self-discovery

As you can tell, I was bored... So i decided to embark on a journey of self-discovery.

You Are 50% Normal

While some of your behavior is quite normal... Other things you do are downright strange You've got a little of your freak going on But you mostly keep your weirdness to yourself

How Normal Are You?

So half the time I am NOT NORMAL???

Your Superpower Should Be Manipulating Electricity

You're highly reactive, energetic, and super charged. If the occasion calls for it, you can go from 0 to 60 in a split second. But you don't harness your energy unless you truly need to. And because of this, people are often surprised by what you are capable of. Why you would be a good superhero: You have the stamina to fight enemies for days Your biggest problem as a superhero: As with your normal life, people would continue to underestimate you

What Should Your Superpower Be?

Hehe!! I really dun mind having this superpower sial!!

You Are Ready to Get Married

You've done more than dream about the dress and the honeymoon In fact, you spend a good deal of your time thinking about what makes a relationship work And from your answers, it looks like you have the skills to say "I Do" and mean it You've dated enough, learned your fair share, and you're ready to settle down.

Are You Ready To Be A Wife?

Can you imagine?? I feel old... At 22, they tell me I am ready to be a wife...

You Should Date An Italian!

You love for old fashioned romance, with an old fashioned guy An Italian guy is the perfect candidate to be your prince charming If your head doesn't spin enough, just down another espresso with him Invest in a motorcycle helmet - and some carb blocker for all that pasta!

Which Foreign Guy Should You Date?

Italian husband... Dun think my mum will accept tt... hahah!!

You Don't Have a Boyfriend Because You are Too Busy

While a relationship sounds nice, you're strapped for time Whether you're legitimately busy or just making excuses... ... You don't give men enough of your time. As nice as "instant love" would be, there's just no such thing.

Why Don't You Have a Boyfriend?

yah yah, busy with all the BLOODY PROJECTS and the EXAMS that NTU is throwing at us!!!

You Are a Flawless Beauty!

When it comes to beauty, you spare no expense - and it shows You're the kind of woman a man would launch a thousand ships for It's hard for anyone to beat you in the beauty department But remember, it's okay to show a flaw or too - you've got plenty to spare

What Type of Beauty Are You?

What exactly does "you have plenty to spare" mean???

You Are a Lemon Cake

Strong, sexy, and overpowering. You know who you are, and you're not afraid to show the world your fabulous self. You're confident, charming, and extremely popular.

What Kind of Cake Are You?

I actually wanted to be a chocolate cake coz tt is what i like to eat!!

I want to be ama de casa

I want to marry a rich man.

Then I will not work but devote my time to running the house and taking care of my children. I will also probably do volunteer work to pass my time and prevent myself from becoming too possessive of my children and husband.

I want to only have to worry about whether my husband and children are eating well and whether they like my cooking. I want to only have to think what to cook for dinner and what to plan for the weekends when my husband will have time for the children. I want to only have to remember important events and maybe, when to vist my in-laws and what presents to get them.

I want my degree to go to waste. haha. maybe not waste, can apply what i learnt to voluntary work or something.

Or maybe I will be a full-time tutor. Teach children at my home. OR teach kids while my own children are in school.

I want to marry a rich man.

Doraemon

I stole this from some random person's WhoLivesNearYou profile... I stole it as in, coz I dun noe the person mah, so I just save the picture and didn't tell the person tt i like the pic... hehehe!!

Naughty naughty, copyright and stuff BUT, it is a really cute picture right?! I don't mind working in an office like this... Then when i need anything, i can just ask my "colleague" for help and i know tt they will definitely have a solution!!!

Same as Ai Ren

You are a Romantic Realist

Okay, so you fall in the middle. You know that love isn't like a greeting card... Yet you can always find a greeting card to describe your feelings. You are the best of both worlds Girly yet independent, dreamy yet serious. Almost any guy can find balance with you.

Are You a Romantic or Realistic Girl?

Seriously, I am sucker for these kind of online tests... But then again, some of the questions are not good at all... as in according to what "Psychological Testing" has taught me, some of the questions are double-barreled and all... Not very good test questions... But I still like to do them! hahahahahaha!!!

Very very FREE

This is the first Monday that I do not have to teach tuition... A bit lost and don't know what to do with the extra time that I have on hand... Haiz... And the weather is cooling, very tempting for a nap but i am not really a nap-person...

Just now Davina say coming back to accompany me. Then she breezed into the room only to break my heart by saying she gg out to eat at ICHIBAN SUSHI and so will not be in hall.. *boohoo* Nobody around to celebrate the end of HG101 Project with me... So sad.

Finally feel that maybe I have been so preoccupied with the other things I had in life that now, alone in my room, I can feel this loneliness sort of threatening to wash over me... I think tuition really filled up a lot of my free time so now tt exams are over and there's no more kids to teach, I feel lost... I rem I used to pack my tuition to the point tt, weekdays, I really had no time for anything else... It's like the empty nest syndrome... haha.

Not like I really have nothing to do. Just no motivation to do them on this particular Monday...

I did a Psychological test today where I was supposed to fill in the blanks to complete several statements. I think I fear being forgotten. I fear being left behind. I fear being kept in the dark. I fear having to face a situation whereby I have to put up walls and fight back. All these flashed through my mind while I was completing that test.

What do I want? I want to fly.

Oo-Oku

I just finished watching Oo-Oku ＜大奥＞ on crunchyroll... Wah! I really like this movie leh... I think if u all free should go and watch also. 4 parts to it and about 2 hours long lah... VERY GOOD!! And there is subtitles so u all can understand. The translation is not full though, as in, does not reflect the nuances of the language very well...



Main character is Nakayama Yukie who acts as Ejima, the Mistress of the Palace. She is the highest ranking maid beside Gekkoin, the mother of the current Shogun (who is also very cute, 5 years old only!). Then got all the POISONOUS ppl who are jealous of her and try to harm her. But Ejima is the loyal and smart maid beside her who will risk her life to protect her mistress if need be...



The kimono collection inside is like WAH!!! But i tell u, they must have suffered while filming... Coz the full set of kimono is laready so heavy PLUS they had to put on tt wig...



I took a picture at the Corridor of Bells when i went to visit Kyoto with Aya but seeing it again in the movie was still overwhelming.

The knot has been untied

I feel so much better.

The knot that has been stuck in me has been untied. I know I was told to wait and see but I think I really like being carefree and don't like living with uncertainty and ambiguity so I did what my best friend adviced and also what she said I will normally do: ask upfront.

So I finally did. And I didn't want to play tt "see who msg who first" game coz I don't like playing games and I want it to be known tt I am sincere and true about my thoughts and feelings. So yes, I msged first and yes, I finally said everything tt needed to be said and asked everything tt needed to be answered.

And I have received satisfaction in tt I no longer live with tt uncertain grey cloud above my head and I think I can live with tt...

Ambivalence wasn't from him but from life itself I guess... Last week was good and this week wasn't. It's life. But I guess I know for certain now tt yes, I still like being upfront and carefree. I am a free-spirit and I want to stay tt way. I don't want to be trapped by uncertainty and I like doing things as I like.

I own myself and I will never allow anyone to bind my emotions and moods! =)

hot Hot HOT

OMG, doing project now in school but totally enjoyed myself, why?

Because, there was this really HOT angmoh guy sitting at the table beside ours!!! He is so HOT!! Like Peiling said, he looks like Chris Evans, the guy who acted as the HUMAN TORCH in FANTASTIC FOUR!!! Yes, he is so hot, he is really like a human torch. *sizzle*

He was so nice, came over to ask if we need to use the power point coz he and his friends were using both the power points that are between the tables. We said we were fine for now. Then, when we really needed the power points, I went over to ask the guy if we could use one of the power points. He was so nice about it and WAH!!! Look into his eyes will DROWN leh!!! He so CUTE!!!

Tall and lanky, like Adam from Maroon 5... Confirm plus guarantee he will look good in a suit! PLUS, he's fit but not too bulky kind... lean and mean... hahaha!! But he had a goatie and usually I am anti-goatie but he can carry it off so WAHHHHHHHH!!!!!! And he had those fuzzy hair-cuts that usually those NS-guys have but he looked DAMN MAN lah!!!

But now, he has left and he has left his friend behind... Aiyoh, brief encounter with a hot guy today has brightened my spirits!!! *grinz*

Dinner at Stadium

We had dinner at the stadium today!!! In honour of Limei staying over, we had our SISTER gathering and ate sushi... Super duper full...



Looking at us like this, I wonder how we will age and how our lives will unravel themselves... The future is right ahead!!!

Ambivalence or miscommunication

How does a person distinguish between Ambivalence and just pure miscommunication?? HP313A would probably say a person would try to ask questions and get feedback until the "mutual knowledge" is gained and share by both but what if that person don't know whether that is the right thing to do?? Not everything is as straightforward and simple as in the lecture notes eh??

An over 12-hour lag is a bit too extreme don't you think?? Which service provider has such a slow system? The longest I had a lag was about 5 hours?? I rem tt time when no one could call through my phone when my phone was switched on through out and reception was full. And no sms-es could come through that 5 hour period... But 12 hours seem a bit too extreme doesn't it??

There are now 2 camps.

First, just don't say anything and don't do anything and wait and see what happend. BUt now, he has already apologised so why am I still behaving like tt? Should just let it go and take his word right?? I think a seed of poison has already been planted in my brain and I can't think objectively... tt feeling of being snubbed last nights is still etched in my mind and I am in a really mean mood. haha! Now I am the ambivalent one!!

Second, just ask him upfront what the hell is wrong and ask him to spit it out... Tt was exactly what I would do but then, the first camp's voice quite strong lah! hahaha!! Be straightforward about it and well, the ends should justify the means so who cares if it might become a bit embarassing...?

Well, my own thoughts are a bit jumbled at the moment but not in a distracted state... Still can function thank you very much!

Well, like what ai ren told me over breakfast today... I should maybe just have my own "Friendship Day" after exams... No obligations and commitments what! =) Ai ren, you are so cute... Your eyes were twinkling and you get excited about it for me for what?! haha!!

New pet

Today I adopted a new pet... A hedgehog named CHOYA!!! After my favourite drink!!! And I chose the hedgehog coz in times of danger or when it feels threatened, it can just roll up and stick out the spiky pins!!! Poke whoever dares to play punk with me!!! But CHOYA a bit cute, happy also will roll up into a ball and bounce around...

If u are free, click on Choya to play with her and feed her strawberries ok?? I like strawberries too but prefer them with condensed milk or chocolate!!!

Jiaying says...

that I must "ren"!!! Yah, my resolve is also tough so i can "ren", no problem at all... See who cracks first. But so, tt is why today i feel cranky and feel tt my mood a bit unpredictable...

Was bored at home yesterday so I took some pictures of random things at home... This was the specimen tt I found on my sofa when i wanted to vacuum the floor... I had no sympathy for this THING so i started to vacuum anyway... hahaha!! She looks like a piglet in her own piglet world... SO CUTE!!!



In the master-bedroom, I found these on my mum's dresser... It was a wedding anniversary gift from the 3 of us to our parents a few years back... They are permanently sleeping like tt on tt dressing table... So poor thing, cannot lie down. But they look so sweet!



Then I found my heels where I had kicked them off... By the shoe rack... In their most natural state, not purposely pose one OK?! And when I looked at them, it dawned on me tt I have more of these in the storeroom... The SISTERS know what my storeroom look like right? rem?? All the carefully labelled shoe boxes... I guess tt is what happens when u have 3 girls living together under 1 roof.



One last shot of Mushroom sun-tanning... So cute right?? He look very happy in the sun lor! But apparently now Mushroom is called Gao(1) Yao(4) Bu(4)... Thanks to some drunkards tt were wrecking havoc in my room last week and treating Mushroom as a rugby ball and spinning him... And his new English name is what, Ko-yok? Dumb ppl, all of u...

Difference

Chopped my nail last night all thanks to bowling... bowled really badly some more... Sheesh... Now i look at my right thumb and i think it looks quite botak... it split until i had no choice but to cut it round and close to the flesh itself... Super duper botak-looking nail...

THEN,

i wonder if there can be too much of a good thing... Like today, can feel a little difference compared to last night... Like, actually, totally different. A bit distant... maybe it's fatigue lah, i also a bit tired coz didn't sleep enough but then still... haiz... dunno is it he feeling a bit sian...

anyway, as i have decided that this is gg to be the last weekend tt i am gg to go out and play, we will be seeing each other less i guess. unless he wants to do coffee near my place... and of course, u know guys lah... after a while they will start to slack so maybe he won't be so hardworking to come over and look for me le in which case we might not meet at all until my exams are over but his course will not have ended yet so we will still not be able to meet then HOW!?

Too bad lor, i guess...

Unglam moment:
Ate at Pizza Hut and we really zhua the pizza and Hut's Platter... Use hands lor! But really leh, if never use hands i think i use fork and knife until i will be so tired i won't be able to enjoy the food properly. The drumlets were SHIOK!! Very long never eat so i felt like i was in heaven...

HIS Unglam moment:
Playing games at the arcade - he has a lot of LOUD sound effects... Ok, just loud enough for me to hear but yah, a lot of sound effects! hahaha!! first time see this really BOYISH side of him so it was an EYE-OPENING EXPERIENCE.

Prototype Theory

During HG101 Lecture just now, Ng was talking about the Prototype Theory... Covered tt before in Cognitive Psych so it was a breeze...

Crystal asked me, what's the first thing you think of when i say "Aki"?
I replied: "pretty"
haha!

Then i thought to myself, what's the first thing i think of when i think of him.
Safe.

Yah, that's the feeling i get when i think of him. That i will be safe and that he is dependable.

Last night again, i was able to see him and that really lifted my spirits. Always feel good around him but sadly, this weekend we probably won't be able to meet... SO SAD! But nvm, it's just 1 weekend... I have survived 22years w/o him so what is 1 weekend man?! haha!

Me Time!!

I have tuition later on and tml night again. Then once more on monday afternoon and then no more tuition for this year!!! Woohoo!!! Finally I can have some time to myself and do everything tt I need to do w/o exams anxiety for myself and my students!!

But I will miss them lah, and Tracy, I will get to see her again when i bring her out as promised to the Discovery Centre...

Oh yah, Aya told me last night to enjoy the perks of bachelorette-dom... So I asked her what are the perks.
(1) LOADS of guys chasing you
(2) LOADS of dates w/o commitment
(3) LOADS of presents coz they will be trying to impress you
(4) LOADS of pampering

Sadly, so far don't have... Maybe coz she is so tall and thin, she is more attractive and thus is able to enjoy those perks which are non-existent to me... haha!

But after so long, I kinda sometimes feel that I am lost... Like in the mornings when I wake up, I will have this urge to make the phone call as always to say GOOD MORNING but of course I can't do that anymore... Remember those times when you can just call him for no reason and talk cock? There is no such person to do that to anymore...

On the other hand, I can just arrange my time as I want to... Don't care about soccer matches schedules and his gym sessions clashing and having to shuffle my tuition timings to fit his free time... Argh!!! Thank god that is over!!!

But I think I miss his elder sister... She is so nice to talk to and so understanding... Even when we were alone at home we can talk and joke and I felt really comfortable with her... Like a real elder sister that I never had.

I also miss Michi and Miko. Especially Miko coz her temperament is so like me and I have always felt she is my special baby... Everyone says she looks and behaves like me, especially when I had my wavy hair... And, well, when he reminded me that Miko only allows me, his sister and his mum to carry her and no one else, it did tug at my heart strings but that's so wrong lah! How can I stay on just because of the dog?? And tt time when he threatened to throw her onto the streets coz he can't bear to look at Miko, I was super duper angry and I was screaming that was BLACKMAIL... BUt I know he won't... At least, his sister won't allow him to do that.

BUT, life must go on.

During the free time I will have after exams, I am going to do all these:
(1) Book my BTT
(2) Look for potential attachment companies
(3) Earn a bit more pocket money

All these are important and should keep me very occupied. Haha!!

A sudden feeling of discontentment

I have a sudden feeling of discontentment... Just not satisfied with my life and what i have now... Why?? It just sort of shook me.

What is missing?? Material possessions?? Everyone wants to be able to have anything they want but i have long ago learnt tt i am not one of those lucky persons...

Is it companionship?? I have friends all around me so tt shouldn't be the case...

Is it the rain tt makes me feel cold and miserable?? I think i need a hug... I want a hug...

Is it coz time is running out?? Can feel it slipping through my fingers...

I don't like this feeling... I don't like not knowing the root cause even more.

Monday Surprise

Hehehe! KPO Jiaying came over and Big-Mouthed me couldn't help but tell Yuwen about it too... *eyes twinkling*

BUT WAIT!

I will always bear in mind Yuwen's advice and of course I won't jump into the sea with hands tied and blind-folds on...

Good things that made me happy today:
(1) He solved Mr C for me so Mr C is complete again.
(2) I have a Subway cookie to eat.
(3) SURPRISE
(4) Made him laugh when I showed him Tracy's birthday card to me.
(5) Saw him laugh like a little boy.
(6) He admitted a bit sheepishly that he dared not stand up coz JY is so tall and he was still fiddling with Mr C when he said tt.
(7) He made me laugh with every other thing he said.

I think it was a great way to end my monday. =)

KBOX

Last night I sang with "Wang Lee Hom"... Wah!!! Voice so nice can??? *droolz*

Didn't realise how much I missed KBOX until I had my hands around that remote control and after tt I was all out... Sorry, all image went out of the window! Took off my heels, stood up on the sofa to sing, etc... Now I am croaking... Voice gone but I really enjoyed the singing last night!!!Sang until 3a.m. lah before gg home.

Ate at Corduroy Cafe yesterday at Vivo, really cozy place... Were having dinner so we sat at the tables but there were also sofa seats... I think I saw a lot of arm chairs but not really those couches where 2 or more ppl can sit together... Like at PCC the sofas are comfy and you can snuggle up coz it's so huge... Miss gg to PCC with Diane, used to do tt quite often when we were still in Poly...

Watched THE BRAVE ONE yesterday too... Love the ending, a bit funny but touching... I know I will def do tt for Diane and my sisters but will there be someone who will do that for me??

And i realise he's got me hooked on the Rubik's Cube... haha!! Funny... I used to not like this kind of brain-teasers kind of stuffs? Even when my mum and Ami was so hooked on Sudoku and all... But he has really got me hooked on tt thing... haha!! Like I said, he's the first person to give me a present that causes me to have a headache. =)

Wonder when we'll meet again.

Rubik's Cube

I have a new toy. It's the Rubik's Cube, and it is not easy to play with tt thing at all... And it's a present *winks*.

I think I am not as patient as I thought I have become... I guess I am still the same as in, when i want something, i really really really want it, if possible NOW kind of thing... haha!! I know it's not good and I think I have a control over tt feeling, am able to delay gratification so tt means psychologically I have matured a bit... haha!!

Sometimes I feel like I don't know what the hell am i thinking or what the hell i am doing but then again, everything happens for a reason right?? And I like to think tt everything happens so tt I can learn from it, it doesn't just happen so I get hurt or something... it happens so i can learn and be stronger and more resilient. The girls believe I am strong, so does my mum, my sisters, my bestfriend and i think i do too.

But being strong doesn't quite equate to intelligence... generally my IQ is above average, nothing to worry about. But i think i tend to leave my brain at home sometimes when it comes to a certain L-aspect in life...

Sorry, tt was really random, actually i am rambling... can't quite rem what i wanted to blog about already... I think coz I already used up the remaining sober brain cells to teach tuition just now... Running on drunk brain cells...

But I guess my adage from the past still prevails... There aren't fairy tales in real life... I can only depend on myself and walls are good. Tt's the only way to keep my head above the water.

Too fast or too slow?

Who is to say that things are progressing too fast or too slow?? What is too fast?? What is too slow?? Can time really be a reliable measure as to how fast or slow things should progress?? Or is it based on the judgement of those around you??

Today Crystal and I were just talking in school... Slack mood and all... We got talking about, well, the usual stuffs... Which, well, as usual, led to the topic of RELATIONSHIPS.

So.

How fast is too fast between a couple?? Is there really a just nice pace that a couple should progress?? I don't know leh. I seriously don't think so. Coz if time was a good gauge, then why couples who were friends for a long time still break up (not all lah, some)? And some couples only got to know each other for 6 months then GET MARRIED but are still happy together?? There is no exact benchmark to say for e.g. 3 months-hold hands, 6 months-first kiss, 9months-meet parents etc...

Oooh, but I read in HER WORLD tt if he doesn't bring you to meet his parents after being together with you for more than 6 months then WARNING BELLS should go off... Supposedly the guy either has no respect for u, intends to ditch u in the long run and is commitment-phobic... tt's what they say.

But, I digress.

Yah, so there is no tried-and-tested route for couples to progress in a relationship, or like guidelines for becoming from friends to a couple... I think, it's between the 2 parties. What they think they are comfortable with and how intense their feelings are...

And Crystal is, as I have said this afternoon, is my epitome of a success story... Please lah, Derrick is nice, I think she made a right choice back then and I hope I can be like you too... =)

November

Updated my calendar last night...

It is so bloody scary how full the November page looks!! Every other day I have something to hand in or a paper to sit for all the way until 21st of the month... So scary can??

I just want tml to come quickly and enjoy this last weekend before the hell starts again next week... Can't believe 1 semester is ending already so fast... Lamenting tt time pass too fast for me to finish the work but at the same time, there was a point in time when I felt the sem won't end... Sigh!

Blanket

I see myself under a blanket, warm and seperated from the rest of the world, with nothing in my mind except the thought that the sound of the rain is so peaceful...

I hide under the blanket, hoping tt it will protect me from the feelings of loss and guilt and curiosity... Loss of what was once familiar, guilt of letting go and curious about what lies ahead...

I want time to stop. I want to stay here.

Jeans or Shoes?

Should I buy a pair of new Levi's jeans or a new pair of flat shoes?? At the moment I only have heels but no flats so thought of buying one but due to my inferiority complex about my height, I dunnoe whether I will wear the flats often... BUT I feel like buying the Copper Jeans coz PL has a pair and I think it looks really nice but I dunnoe whether I will wear it often too coz now a days weather a bit hot.. Haiz...

Tired from donating blood yesterday and coz my period is coming... Sian... MOOOOOOOOOOOOOODDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Thumping headache!!! Bleh!!!

Ruz Bear

Talking to Ruz now and he must be really bored... Well, let me blog about him so he might feel more cheered when he reads my blog.

Was saying we should ALL meet up maybe on a weekend coz he and James working what. But I reminded him tt have to check with the girls coz see whether they willing to give up a weekend evening for them mah... Maybe Ruz and James not worth the weekend evening right??

This it what he said.

|RuZ| I'm not ill anymore, I'm now Kim Jong 2 の発言:
im tellin u we are
|RuZ| I'm not ill anymore, I'm now Kim Jong 2 の発言:
we're like naked flame to sparkles, water in a tank, darkness in a darkroom
|RuZ| I'm not ill anymore, I'm now Kim Jong 2 の発言:
we're the ESSENTIALS!!!!


Really bloody thick-skin, this one... Never changes... Still my good ol' bro. =)

Thoughts for the day

Skipped out of school today and went to Marina Square...

Bought myself a Strawberry Body Polish from BodyShop.. Was on offer and now I smell really fruity and sweet!!! Feel like biting my own arm see will be as sweet and juicy as a real strawberry or not. Hurhur... Sorry, lame.

Had Burger King for lunch, the free Oreo wafersticks still here with me, C's one also... I realised it had been a while since I last ate onion rings... But as always, I couldn't finish my food... Must try to expand my stomach space a bit...

Had Haagen Daaz ice cream for dessert... COOKIE CRUNCH!!! Drank a lot of water also then in the end I kept visiting the toilet... Haiz... Maybe my stomach is big so squeezed my bladder to just small corner so it cannot store as much... Haiz, dunno whether will have incontinence problem when I'm old...

Bought tix to I NOW PRONOUNCE YOU CHUCK AND LARRY but had an hour to kill so C and I went to play pool... I think, considering I have not played pool for donkey years, not too bad lah...

And the movie was really funny!!! Laugh from start to end... BUt got touching parts also... When Larry decided to clear the wardrobe of his late wife's belongings, it was like "Waaaaa........" But then it was only for like 10sec then the funny things started again... I think watch on weekday ok lah, but not worth it if watch as Midnight... Ratings: 3.5/5.0

Then came back to JP in time to take Dav's car back to hall!!! Woohoo!!! Then just now OMC meeting also chop-chop finish... Just a matter of time before I decide to turn my attention to Venus' lect notes and readings... I HATE READINGS!!!! I USED TO LOVE TO READ BUT I THINK I HATE IT NOW!!! GIVE ME SOME BRAINLESS STUFF TO READ MAN!!!

Oh yah... today C and I were talking on the train and I said I feel like eating ice cream... Then C asked what kind of ice cream I want to eat... I pondered over the question a while and said," uhm... cold ones?" C just kept laughing and shaking, like trying to control and I realised it was a bit dumb of me but hey, I made C laugh so not too bad right? C's birthday present lor!!

I think I really must get the PINK GRAPEFRUIT body lotion from BodyShop next time I go, coz I realise my bottle finishing le... Had to hit it on the table just now to get the lotion to come out...

Ok, back to Studying!!!

Does He Love You?

Song by Rilo Kiley, damn great vocals... I wish I could sound as sappy as her w/o coming across as poser... haha!

A little too drama for some but the presentation was like, "Wow!" And it really blew my mind when the whole story unravelled itself through those simple verses. It hit me right in the middle of my chest.


Does He Love You? Rilo Kiley

Get a real job
Keep the wind to your back and the sun on your face
All the immediate unknowns are better than knowing this tired and lonely fate.

Does he love you?
Does he love you?
Will he hold your tiny face in his hands?

I guess it's spring; I didn't know
It's always seventy-five with no meltin' snow
A married man, he visits me
I recieved his letters in the mail twice a week

And I think he loves me
and when he leaves her
he's coming out to California

I guess it all worked out
There's a ring on your finger and the baby's due out

You share a place by the park and run a shop for antiques downtown
And he loves you, yeah he loves you, and the two of you will soon become three
And he loves you, even though you used to say you were flawed if you weren't free

Let's not forget ourselves good friend
You and I were almost dead
And you're better off for leavin'
Yeah you're better off for leavin'

Late at night, I get the phone
You're at the shop sobbin' all alone
Your confession is coming out
You only married him, you felt your time was running out

But now you love him, and your baby
At last you are complete
But he's distant and you found him on the phone pleading saying
'baby I love you and I'll leave her and I'm comin' out to California'

Let's not forget ourselves good friend
I am flawed if I'm not free
and your husband will never leave you, he will never leave you for me

Good Day

Good afternoon Aki!!

You have many things to do:
Finish Venus' proofreading and then you have a quiz on Friday tt you haven't studied for yet.

Too many things to do babe!!

Please give me strength

I pray to be given the strength, the courage and assurance that what I am doing is right. I pray tt my walls don't crumble under his kind words, I pray tt I will not be led into a potential mess.

I pray tt my decision is right and tt I will not live to regret it. Life is too short for regrets, and also too short to miss out on true love. I pray tt I didn't just miss it.

I pray tt I am made of steel and heartless. I don't want to feel anymore.

I just can't

I'm sorry I just can't...

And I won't think about it coz it won't do me any good. I am a strong girl, have always been and will always be... Sometimes the heart needs walls. I think I need them now.

I will have better days, but just not today. I pray for tomorrow to come and take today away.

Please make things ok.

Feeling Emo

Emo-moment...

Song of the moment: When you're Gone-Avril Lavigne

I miss my mama... It almost broke my heart when mama said she really miss us and feel like giving us a hug... We laughed it off, saying we have become quite thin now and she'll find it uncomfortable when she squeezes us...

I miss her, I want her here with me too. I want to whine and ask her to do things for me too... I want to hug her shrinking frame and know tt she'll always be here. I want her back home.

So Diu Lian

ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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SO DIU LIAN!!!

OMG, why was i so dumb... now maybe i should just throw myself out of the window... but 4th floor jump down i think i will become crippled only... ARGH!!!!

Boohoo!!!

So dumb...

How Do Men See ME?!

Did the quiz posted on ai ren's blog... Funny...

Men See You As Desirable

Men often find you immediately attractive and sensual You're honesty is refreshingly beautiful ... it draws guys in You are also able to be open with your feelings with no emotional baggage Packing light means you enjoy new relationships easily

How Do Men See You?

Feeling fat

I am feeling fat today... Not really FAT per se but a bit Bloated none the less... Feeling super bloated all the time...

Like just now, not hungry leh but i know i must eat if not later tonight i will be hungry and then i will want to eat at such a late hours some more and then tml morning I will end up with a big big tummy... So i ate... And JY wanted bubble tea with her subway and so i couldnt resist too and am now nursing my bubble tea too...

I feel FAT.

When will i stop feeling fat? When I am no longer fat.

And I think I have to stop blogging all the time about every single tinge of bad emotions i have... If not i see my blog i also sian. But tt doesn't mean I dun feel fat already. I still do.

Over the weekend when i wasn't feeling well, it felt really good when tt nauseous feeling came to me. it was like: "Oh yes, puke it out! Puke it out! PUKE IT OUT!!!"
It almost feels like a cleansing ritual, feels really good. And yes, my period just finished so the nauseous feeling isn't a matter of concern. Just a silly tummy bug i think... But when I feel like vomitting I dun even try to stop, I sort of want it to come.

And my full appetite isn't back yet. It's early but I feel sleepy already.

TOASTED

I think I am gg to crash soon... Time seems to fly and it's w/o me knowing... I feel like I am rushing all the time and I can't seem to slow down at all... Feel super duper tired and thank god i still have the sense of urgency to complete things tt need to be done.

I try to force myself to relax and not panic and tt everything will work out, which so far it is... BUT i just feel like i am gg to crash from the lack of rest and ME-TIME... I wanna hide and hibernate and play The Sims 2 everyday... I NEED A BREAK!!!!!!!!

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OMG, it was the best local movie I have ever watched in my whole life!!!! I seriously don't mind watching it again, maybe buy the DVD for my mama to watch. I think she will also cry when she watch it... Not just because it is touching but I think my mama miss this place that she calls home too...

I cried buckets near the end and felt really dehydrated because I didn't drink the Sprite much after I got too engrossed in the movie... Listening to the dialogue in Hokkien and finding tt I can understand most of them w/o reading the subtitles made me feel so proud can?? Feel like a true Singaporean!! But the dialogue was mostly simple and straightforward...

Listening to the aunties talk loudly and in Hokkien reminds me of when my mama was still living here with us and the way she used to joke and talk with my 2 aunties... Especially the dirty jokes tt my aunties told each other and made my mama laugh so hard tt her face turns red, cannot open her eyes and her hand is pressed to her chest as though she needs tt hand to hold her body up if not she will end up rolling on the floor laughing...

I think I will miss Singapore more than I miss Japan where ever I may go. I miss my mama too. I love my home and everything tt this place gave me.

Birthday celebrations!!

Thank you all who celebrated my birthday with me in the various ways!!! Thanks Di for the fabulous T-shirt, the SISTERS for the balloon girl and the pretty pretty watch!!! Besides these, I also received a Body Shop Cranberry Bath set and a Shiseido make-up palette.

This picture is courtesy of Davina... I know her blog put this up le but I want also mah! And it's my birthday mah!!! And somehow, I can see tt I was so happy tt day tt I was quite vain... Look at some of the poses, I look a bit san ba... Damn, must be the wine plus exhilaration!!!

These are the ppl who tried to bluff me say the balloon girl is my only birthday present from them. Please lah, I will believe you all so stingy one meh?? Love you girls a lot and it was really nice to just chill out like tt...

Love the food and ambience... And I think it was a really nice perk to not have to pay GST and Service Charge... All nett prices!!! Must go again... I want to order the Dory Fish or the Gratin Chicken next round... And the wine was SUPERB!!!

After tt was the mahjong session at my house... hahahaha!!! Muackz Muackz Muackz... Can tell tt I'm still giddy from the happiness of turning 22 right? Actually, AGE IS BUT A NUMBER!!! I totally couldn't take it when my father say I become auntie already... What does tt make him then?

Who won? hehehe...

I also received many well wishes on this special day from so many ppl... Someone even sang and recorded birthday song for me can?! Feel like I'm on the top of the world!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Change in Address

I have changed my address. Nice right? Just thought of it and since HY say dun change skin, then change address lor... please update ur links.

The previous address like some kind of cryptic code, with numbers and symbols and what nots... Really looking forward to the dinner LATER at Bliss with the SISTAS... My god, I can't sleep...

Listening to Ai Ru Chao Shui now... Haiz... So blardy nice...

Random: I think I am putting in so much effort in trying to make my blog look nicer because I am putting off doing actual work. hahahaha!!! But I got NOTHING IMPORTANT to do tonight... Thank God!!!

Sleepy

Sleepy sleepy sleepy sleepy sleepy...

GAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Dinner with Bestie

Thanks D for the lovely dinner and the prezzie. Love the print on the tee.

Maybe I was a bit emo about the "left-behind" thingy but it was just a feeling and thought tt I have. =) Glad tt you are enjoying urself at ur new job and I know u are tired but thanks for taking time out for me.

And yes, we will definitely meet soon. Love you loads D.

The 5 Princesses

Ai is said to be just like me when i was young and Eri is the resident imp. Hehe!

Aki Aya Ami Ai Eri

New Skin

I have a new skin with an inspirational name - Light. I really like the picture, makes me feel small yet carefree at the same time... I like it... Gotta bathe now.

Moulting

Moulting is a process whereby the skin is shed because the body is too big now.

I think I have outgrown my blogskin. I want a new skin.

Mambo Shag

I didn't think my ai-ren would go so crazy...

Practically a jug of Peach Schnapps & 7-UP and shooters would be enough. But we still had white wine and then a Corona. Yuwen still topped it up with Apple Shooters. Harold say our livers are made of metal. I am so bloody tired now.

Been a while since we had so much crazy fun. Last night wasn't a normal mambo night. It is definitely up there with sky-diving and bungee... Now, I need to detox. =)

Official Hall One Resident

I have officially gotten myself a room in hall one.

I have got the key!!! Yeah!!! And on Wednesday, we are gg to have a Garfios Seniors bash!!! Hehehehehe!!! So fun, looking forward to it lorz!!!

Washing machine test

Sitting in Davina's room, using Davina's laptop, and I keep hitting the CapsLock button while I am typing this. Not used to the flatness and the wide expanse of space of this keyboard, so maybe I am stretching my little finger too much to hit the "A" button.

Waiting for my clothes to be washed clean in the washing machine down stairs.

Now I have a confession to make.

If you wash your clothes in Block 18, like me, then maybe you might have seen the washing machines tt are empty but seem to have a lil water in them. Just tt teeny weeny bit of water. Ever wondered why?? I did it.

No, I did not pee into the washing machine. You see, I don't like to wash my clothes in the machines tt have very weak water flow. I don't like to know tt the tub is filling up with water very very Very VERY slowly. I like to know tt the tub is being filled with gushing water.

SO

Before I put in my clothes into the machine, I will just let the machine start and test out the water flow of the machine. If the water flow is not up to my standard, then I will stop the machine and switch it off. And I will wash my clothes in another machine.

Like today, I was satisfied only at the 3rd machine. So 2 machine downstairs currently have a little bit of water in the machine.

Well, back to reading my free Maxim magazine. =)

First Day of School

I am back to a full-time student again!!! Really feel good coming back to school and starting lessons again. Just bought my first textbook for this semester... Hope I can keep up with my readings this sem. I got a total of 17 chapters to read for exams for this subject alone...

PLUS

I am glad tt I went for Hall Camp. Felt really good about it and having fun again with all my friends. Feeling young and old at the same time. Felt good to see my seniors and felt good to see all the new freshies. Somehow, I didn't feel as competitive as last year. This year, it didn't really bother me tt Garfios didn't win anything. I think, just being there was the BIG PRIZE.

I already sent an email to SAO PLEADING with them to let me get a room in Hall One. I shall have faith. I want to quickly get a room too so tt I can clean my room and move in. If not Huiyun also poor thing, left hanging in the air.

Later got Add/Drop, so hopefully I can get the 5th and final subject for this semester. I pray tt everything will go smoothly for myself and tt I can be back in Hall One soon, with all my friends and looking forward to all the Hall Activities.

Dear Blog, I hope things turn out well. =)

Mambo Jambo

Mambo Night again!!! Can tell tt I'm super excited right? Wahahahaha!!!!

Long Wait

Sammy told me another batch of acceptance were sent out but I didnt receive the email. It's gg to be a long wait. Again.

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Bloody Blogger,

it is not posting my entries fast enough. Bloody hell.

Room

At the rate tt things are gg, I wonder if I should still even bother to apply. A bit pointless to get the room liao since life there is prob gg to suck even if I get a room. Who the hell will I have to share room with? Maybe I should just stay at home.

Yup, this whole thing sucks. A lot of What-ifs but to hell with it. Why is it tt when i need the room most, I fucking dun get it. fuck.

Super tired

Ahhh... long weekend, at work.

It was Lixuan's Bday celebration today... So fun!!! Had fun at the chalet really... Won $5 some more... And then still got a lift from Sammy, THANK YOU!!!

Next week will be Yuwen's turn... Every one of them are turning 21... And I will be turning 22.. Man, I feel old... Should be accomplishing things in life, but still walking beside them... I feel, so unaccomplished...

Maybe work is tiring me out... Should relax a bit more... Haiz....

Japan, HERE I COME

Well,

I just went to the travel agent's today after work at Century Square and the departure date has been set at a tentative 3rd of July. Actually I already know tt I have to go back to Japan in the early part of July but if got tour then go with tour... If everything goes according to plan, the deal will be sealed tml.

SO!

I went to dig out the CanCam magazine tt Ami had requested for mama to buy back. I needed to do a bit of research about what to wear over there... I love summer!!!! Except for the humidity ( it is more humid there than in Singapore, can u believe it?), hot weather means can wear nicer clothes.... Haiz... totally looking forward to it.

BUt a bit rush... but then again, I havent had a good rest since after exams coz have been working all this while.... FINALLY!!!

I am BLUE

Havent been blogging for ages simply because firstly, my part-time job with L`oreal has me drained during the weekends, my off-takes thingy at the L`oreal office is also not exactly relaxing and lastly, I am still teaching tuition twice a week. Generally, I only have Tuesday completely free to myself but then, my mum was back for the past 2 weeks so I was kinda busy spending quality time with her.

But she left yesterday.

Sigh.

I miss her already... And I was joking with my sisters last night, let's make a bet to see how long the house will remain clean. Lots of tears and hugs and kisses last night... Sigh... And this morning I was already talking to my parents over Skype. Strange isn't it...

I have been working since the time my exams were over. So am thinking of making this month the last month of work. Will still do the off-takes at the office but not promoter lor. Super tired. And oh yah!! Havent uploaded the pictures from my cousins wedding... AND

I wanna go clubbing. SUPER DUPER long time since I went clubbing. I am sending out an SOS to all available sisters to try make yourself available next month. I shall exercise, eat healthy, spend money and relax next month... School starting soon again le... Must make full use of my time!!!

The holidays so far

Song of the moment: 4 in the morning - Gwen Stefani

Finally totally recovered from the viral fever thingy... So scared, really thot is dengue... But kena scolded by papa and mama for gg out today.. Say just recover only then go out and play already... Hahaha!!! But nvm lah, I am well enough already!!!

Tml stay at home and KNIT!

Monday meet Wanwei go buy FOC stuff then teach tuition at night.

Tuesday go make passport and go out with Aya.

Wed tuition in the afternoon.

Back to work on Thursday!!! Training in the morning at 10 for new body product.

Miss all my SISTAS leh... Last time we met was at Davina's hse for dinner... How is everyone?? Guess we can only like get updates through blogs so please please please be dilligent in ur updating!!!!!

Fever

I have the fever, it's hot, and it can't be stopped!!

Actually, I HAD the fever on Saturday and I was really hot, a whooping 38 degrees celsius... I was joking with Ami tt I was already quite dumb so hopefully the fever dun cause further damage to my brain... AND it finally came down on Sunday night... Whew...

Still feeling the chills today and my bones are a bit crikey AND I still got sore throat...

Puked and all... lost another 1kg and I can actually wear tt old pair of FOX shorts tt I had given up all hope of wearing after I came back from Japan 3kg heavier last holidays... BUT, losing weight this way is NOT HEALTHY and am NOT gg to make a habit of losing weight tt way.... Exercise is a much cheaper option... had to pay $65 at A&E lah to see doc...

Got a buzzing sound in my ear... I think it's due to my blocked nose...

Dinner at Davina's hse

Belated entry... but nvm...

Had dinner at Davina's hse last night!!! Yummy!!! Bak kut teh, steam fish, a SUPER UP chicken then got a vegetarian dish and a tomato dish. But HY warned me tt the tomato dish a bit spicy so I didn't try... But the rest all I got eat lah...

Wah... As u all know... I very Very VERY long never eat "mummy's cooking" le... Eat until damn full... Then, the SUPER DUPER UP strawberries!!! I oc 60cents my god!!! But very nice... Eat until very shiok coz not I pay one... wahahaha!!!

The chocolate ice cream also good lor!!! SINFUL man!!! Correct choice, great judgement... Tummy never felt more full in a long time le!!! Well, nowadays working, dun feel so hungry... Think stomach shrank, cannot tahan so much food liao... Lost a bit of weight too... 1.5kg!!! Shall work even harder see if can lose another 1.5kg... Dun mind if total lose 5kg lor... wahahaha!!!

Today went to L'oreal office then I actually asked if got office job for me to do onot... Hope I get it man... But later office work sit ard all day then become fat how?? Trade off... Guess we cant have the best of everything...

Well-spent Day

Went to play with Michi and Miko for 2 hours before gg to tuition... After tuition went back to Simei and bought ingredients for dinner... Cooked dinner and mopped the kitchen floor...
Blogging now...

Wash toilet later... Then bathe... Then dump laundry in the washing machine... Hang laundry...

I feel so fulfilled today... time well spent... Tml gg to Davina's hse for dinner!!! Yay!!!

Porn on Cloudenning's blog

Dear H**y*n,

OMG.

Ai ren, dun contaminate the young minds of innocents can?? Why do u always have sexual contents surronding u?? U go toystore to entertain urself before watching Spidey can le, play with hula hoop not enuff meh?? But the threesome shot of the bear, panda and lion was good... Couldn't resist "moaning" too... Hahahaha!!!

And I worry for my safety... Being roommates with u next year is gg to take me a lot of courage... Thank god I already have insurance, but wait, i think tt policy never cover sexual harrassment from roomie... Damn...

I watch enough National Geographic to not flinch when I saw those shots but the one of the twin Barneys spooning was too much! Tt is gross... Up there with teletubbies u know... =)

Anyway I miss u, coz last time i met with Dav and rest, u weren't there until I left for tuition. Boohoo!

Rest Day

So good... today can rest... not really REST but at least, no standing on my feet for 8 hours... Bleh!! When I woke up today and walked around the house, can feel the soles of my feet aching... Grrrr... And I am already wearing the lowest pair of heels that I own!!!

What shall I do today?

Tuition at 7.30pm so maybe I can rally some strength and discipline to pack away my clothes. Living out of a suitcase is not fun at all!!! Had to rummage around all the clothes just to find a pair of shorts...

And I feel bad tt my things are cluttering up the living room... I bet Ami was cursing and swearing yesterday when she was cleaning the house... I feel so sorry!!! But hey, things will all probably be alright by today...

Enough of mindless banter, just thankful tt my skin can breathe today, no make-up!!