...

...

That's my mood now. "..." is the way I would describe it. I don't feel anything and all that I am thinking about is how to describe this feeling. It's a circular kind of situation. I don't know.

I know I am supposed to be typing my HP403 report so that I can basically concentrate on revision from this weekend onwards. But my fingers are on the keyboard for entirely different reasons. Blogging. About this "..." feeling. What is that?

Maybe it's the aching left arm and left thigh due to cheerleading last night. Don't ask me why is it only the left side.

Maybe it's the apprehension and anxiety from hearing the Graduation Project briefing just now.

Maybe it's because of...

Maybe it's got nothing to do with any of these at all. Maybe I just don't have motivation to do anything any more. Why do I do what I do?? Why do I see all these as important but are they really?? Who is to say that all these are important?? Who is to say that all these are going to be helpful in life?? Can they predict my future and know what use all these will be??

My nails are too long. I need to cut them.

I can see SQ's shoemark on my left arm. How fascinating, it just missed my burnt scar. Fried a portion of my left arm when the hot oil splashed up and landed o my left arm. Like Crystal said, we now know what cooked human flesh looks like. I wonder if it will leave a scar.

Just what am I here for?? Is there a reason why I stand where I am, experience what I have, cope with what is thrown to me and hurt the way I do? Am I here to do good or inflict hurt? Or am I here to benefit or lose out? Am I here to be there for someone or to walk out on someone else? Or am I here to be comforted or to be left behind?

What is it?