Shoulder Sit

It just crossed my mind today tt i sat on ur shoulder once... Long ago...

We were walking back under the MRT tracks from Tampines to Simei... We were talking about something and then you said you wanted to carry me on your shoulders... It was really long before cheerleading so I was really scared...

I wasn't really afraid that you would drop me, more worried about me being too heavy for you carry... It just crossed my mind... And I smiled, I don't know why...

Last night, I cried.

I couldn't sleep and I thought of you... I couldn't push you away...

I went to Tioman you know tt? A trip tt was meant to have been with you...

Mama bought me my 21st birthday gift last week... She wanted to get me diamonds... So i asked for a bracelet... She said she wanted to get me a set and asked if I wanted a necklace too... I told her tt I already have a diamond pendant tt you gave me for my 18th birthday...

The rocks she got me were definitely bigger... But I still like your pendant best...

After the time we shared, I wasn't able to withstand life without you... Looking for someone new wasn't coz I was just finding someone to replace u... But u are irreplaceable...

Shilong, when will you come back? My mum still talks about you... your name pops up at the most unexpected moments and it just hits me in the heart always... I feel like I can't breathe...

You can say tt time will erase the pain, tt I will eventually find someone else but he won't be you... I love you and wish you were here...

I am sick of the facade tt I have create and live... But I can't lie to myself tt it is not emptiness when I look at another and say "I love you"...