Grey areas are tempting

And zhiyang said if stay in grey area too long, will get stuck in it. Cannot come out. Cannot move backwards and cannot move forwards too. I know. And I am scared. But I just want to stay in that grey area for a while more.

It's that suspense that hangs over my head that can make my heart race. And well, grey areas allow for a lot of flexibility. It's like having multiple traffic lights blinking... Erm... That wasn't quite right.

It's like,

I don't know actually. haha.

And now, a little self-reflection.

If a guy is too nice to me, I will take it for granted and sooner or later I will hurt him. I will end up testing his limits to see how much he can take and how nice he can be until I will hurt him. I end up hurting him and hurting myself too.
Moral of the story - find someone who can "discipline" me and keep me in line.

If a guy cannot make me laugh along with him, I will end up thinking he is dumb and will treat him like tt for the rest of the time until he blows up and I just walk away.

If a guy cannot make me feel that I can be the "xiao nu ren" around him sometimes then I will just be destroying myself. Coz, I am strong outside, but I still want someone that is stronger who can let me be a little girl. I am not Xena. I cannot be strong all the time. I am human too. I will die like tt...

If a guy is too whiney, I cannot take it. Guys don't whine. Period.

If a guy is too indecisive, I also cannot take it.

If a guy is too MCP, I LAGI CANNOT TAKE IT.

Lastly, if a guy can make me feel secure with the knowledge that he will never hurt me, I will be at my best behaviour. =)

P.S: Mama said, a guy must be kind, honest and hardworking. But tt is what she says lah. My list is longer.