Settled

It's been a while since I last blogged... In free access now so the keyboard feels a little foreign to me... Typing really slowly...

It's a rainy day and I feel very tired... Monday and all... Tml is supposed to be a public holiday but since Cheer comp is coming up so fast, we are gg to have 2 shifts of training tml... Once in the afternoon then again at night... 2 shifts of 4 hours...

I am feeling a little more settled now, more calm and not so sad or anything... Throwing myself into Cheer seems like a really good idea... This is the start of a hellish week and I don't know if I can take it onot... My period just came so, Argh~!! Will be feeling irritable, stressed, tired and extra sensitive I guess... Please offer me tender loving care...

I have yet to place my cosmetic orders with papa... Have to remind myself to do it later tonight or tml...

Maybe tml, since I will have the morning free and I don't intend to be clubbing anytime soon this period of time coz of Cheer... Have to wash the floor rags also... Throw into the washing machine and just let it spin clean...

Sometimes I wonder if I am brave enough to not keep thinking and regretting and imagining all the "might-have-been"s and the "maybe"s... May I be as strong as ppl perceive me to be, to be firm with my decision and not regret, and accept whatever fate brings me coz of my decision and to make the most of all tt life will be after him...

I never knew a man who loved me so much, but he said tt is only coz he was the first... There will be other ppl who will show me how promising a future together may be, but there can only be one tt I will share my life with eventually... Like my dad siad, he is a good man and my dad was kinda sorry to see him go but they will all support my decision... One thing, I can never blame anyone else for anything tt happens coz the decision was always mine...

Shit, I am talking about him again... I really have to learn...