Being loved

gives you the upper hand coz personally, no emotional attachment thus less concern and less affected. So the mounting insecurities are probabaly nothing but a passing phase. Plus, I love myself more than anything in the world. I have already reached the highest level attainable for self-preservation I think.

Anyway, have decided to shut down this particular portal to a particular aspect of my life coz the drama occurring there is too much for me to keep up with. Oh, please don't ask me what is it, coz I might just bite. Calling everyday to ask for updates is a heart-stopping activity and even then, sometimes knowing doesn't make me feel any better. Plus, although the parties concerned have already adopted a jaded and "let's-laugh-it-off" approach to this matter at hand, I find that I can hardly keep up this facade. Super tiring to put on the "everything-in-the-world-is-nice-and-rosy" smile on the face. I am not suffering inside lah, just super sick of it.

Doesn't help that at the moment, nothing concrete about the outcome can be anticipated. Doesn't help of course, that we are all scrambling to make allowances and compromises, indefinitely. How long more do you need or are you just testing our patience?? Seriously, I think I have already stopped trying to be patient. I am just waiting for time to pass and hoping that you can clear it up yourself. May you be enlightened soon.

This week has been a busy week starting from the weekend. So, yes, work has kept my mind off from the unnecessary drama. Seriously feel indebted to Diane for putting up with all my nonsense. Thank you, I hope you are reading this. I don't know when I can return you the favour, but be patient with me please. My bestie can tahan a lot of nonsensical ramblings and favours from me, I know, I am blessesd.

I know I am being loved, and I don't want to have the upper hand actually. I am loving, every single one of the people that matters to me, back.