Again

I was dropped and I hit my head again. When I opened my eyes to see how close I was to the edge of the mat, I stopped breathing.

I dun like to be dropped. I dun like to hit my head. Coz I dunno what is happening in my head when I hit it. I dun like it at all.

And when I fall, I lose my confidence to go up again. I am not weak. I dun like to think of myself as weak, but yes, I do fear. I dun like being scared. I dun like the helpless feeling of falling thru air, knowing tt I am just gg to hit the ground.

I dun want it to be like the last time. I like the fear-less, carefree me now. I dun want to go back to the time when small lil things like tt affect my confidence in everything I do.

And tt feeling of FALLING.

It's not just during cheerleading training. It's every other aspect of life also.

"Learn to relax, do your own thing. Don't worry about the bases. The bases will do what they need to do too. Just concentrate on your own part."

Simple cheerleading training instructions but I found a deeper meaning in those words. It's like life and the people around you, isn't it?? When I do my part and others do theirs, it will be alright. But try to meddle too much, and everything crumbles.

But what if the "bases" have let you down before and dropped you? Am I allowed to be cautious and feel insecure up there?? Or am I forced to just trust and let go, not to meddle??

It's hard, no??