Tender M&M

Past couple of days, I have been having a weird sort of craving... I am craving for Michi and Miko. I know... Get over it, right??

Thought of seeing them on saturday and a couple of times I almost sent an SMS out to see if Saturday would be a good time. I consulted Diane (as usual) and well, her reply of "HELL NO!" was a bit extreme but yeah, I miss them. A lot. She went as far as to say that she will let me ruffle her hair, and tt I should not go.

Nothing good will come out of it, I know. But it pains me to think that maybe they dun remember me anymore. And sometimes, when he shares with me what they have been up to at home, I can feel my heart sink and the huge urge to see them again.

And today, Crystal was sharing with us what Hash had been up to at home. And suddenly I think back about the times when we used to exchange stories about each others' pets. I had Michi and Miko, Crystal has Hash, Izyan has her Quorianka and Rayden, Peiling has her terrapin. But now, I just listen and wonder how they are.

Cats just aren't dogs. And big dogs just aren't as cute and cuddly as small dogs. Tracy has a Shetland Sheepdog at home so during tuition Belle will usually come over. And during the break, we will play with Belle and when I talk to Belle, I see her looking at me the same way that Michi and Miko would. But Michi and Miko are more responsive, cocking their heads ard, staring intently at me as thought they are concentrating and comprehending what I tell them.

I used to cradle Miko in my arms and blow on her paw lightly. She would then try to "paw" at my face gently to get me to put my face closer to her so that she could kiss me. She would look at me as I cradle and rock her as if she was trying to remember every detail of my face and commit that into her memory.

I wonder if they know that I really miss them. OR will they have forgotten me? Or even worse, would they think that I have abandoned them just as I have abandoned their owner. Which is worse, to be forgotten or to be detested?

Cats are just too independent and their low need for affiliation do not serve as an attractive aspect to me. My need for affiliation requires more and it seems, I have managed to become so entangled emotionally with 2 dogs that do not speak my language and probably not my emotions too. But still.

I would have them gratefully if he were willing to give them up.

I finally see why Aya said I will never get married if I kept a dog. Coz if I had Michi and Miko with me now, somehow I feel that will be enough for me.