Suddenly, i feel so unsure of myself... Find myself lost and i do see a way back but dun feel the need to follow it... So many ppl around but i feel the sick loneliness tt makes me hate myself for being weak... So many things to do but i let my mind wander, to ponder, to think, to muse, to reflect, to grieve...
I have officially lost myself and see nothing but emptiness ahead... Is living for the Now really what i want? Can i take the consequences tt tml will bring? Tt one moment of peace and illusion tt elevates my moods now may only cause me to spiral further down in the end...
Actually, i only want one thing... Just tt one thing... But it's beyond my reach... I only see my fingers grasp the shadow of it, and i think, it's all just a dream... A painfully beautiful dream tt only makes one grieve when one wakes from it...
Sometimes i wonder, if not for my own selfish desire to pacify my own emotions, will all these be happening now?? Would things have flowed another way and life would i have much more than the dream tt lingers in my mind?? I awaken from the dream, and see tt ghost depart, only to fall asleep again... And the next time i open my eyes, I can only pray for the return of tt dream... Soon...
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