It can be so tiring but it has never hit me as strongly as tonight... Maybe it's the rain, or maybe it's the absence of my walking jukebox (my roomie), or maybe it's just me...
Sitting and waiting for something more to happen... This kind of one-sided longing is starting to sap me big time... Putting up the nonchalant strong facade is the worst thing i have to do everyday... Be bright and cheery so no one knows what i really feel inside...
I chastise myself each time i am standing at my door and i cautiously peek at his room door (no, i'm not stalking him, at least trying not to... haha!), I chastise myself each time my heart lurch when msn announces tt he has come online (my heart does a cartwheel so marvellous tt will make Vincent so proud) and I just can't help but smile each time he chats with me online without me initiating the conversation (these moments are so rare tt it can almost be classified as endangered)...
I never knew tt to love someone one-sided was so tough and painful... Lovely possibilities have probably flown out the window and I should look forward but I keep lingering, hoping tt a miracle might just happen... Is this karma?! I should have been nicer when rejecting ppl, at least i won't feel so guilty now...
I fill this empty room with songs but most songs talk about love... What's wrong with the world?!?! I might just have to start downloading National Day songs to drive all these melancholic (hehe!! 2pts for improved vocab) and depressing (pass me the Prozac) thoughts away... Bleh!!!
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